Thursday, February 12, 2009

To those of you who know Gene...



This applies to those of you who know Gene, or will one day meet him for that matter. For those unaware, Gene hasn't given Tom, Fig, or I the deposit back yet from our apartment last year. It has been about 8 months since he got the check back from our realtor. We've asked him repeatedly for our portion of the check, only to have our requests cast aside, like the sane thoughts from the mind of Joaquin Phoenix (http://lateshow.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/video_player/index/php/978097.phtml).


You see, Gene doesn't understand why people would want money back that is rightfully theirs. He is of the mindset that you'll just get your money when you get it. So I write this as a warning, and hopeful benefit to those who would one day think of loaning Gene money, or anything for that matter. To you I say "DON'T!!!”.


Think of this post and how we still wait, helpless, and completely relying on Gene's nonchalant attitude about paying people back. Perhaps, if enough people ban together we can triumph against this grave injustice, and Gene can learn from his ways and emerge a better human being. This I pray.

Until next time,

-M-

11 comments:

Tom said...

I think it should also be noted that Gene's indifference to other people money is best personified by Barack Obama.

Obama like Gene, doesn't care if he is robbing Peter to pay Paul because he knows that he can count on the support of Paul.

Gene with the dollar weakening every day I implore you to pay us before the dollar is used as toilet paper.

Steve said...

I think its nearing the point of breaking legs or burning down houses.

MadLibbs said...

Let me know when we need to pull Josie into this. She's my bff

Tom said...

Now, bring Josie in now!

Anonymous said...

Gene has probably spent the money on a mans club in Urbana. Why give the money to friendly roommates when you can give dollar tips to future roomies

YES.WE.CAN said...

please involve josie. i bet she grounds him and takes away the xbox. it will be hilarious.

Unknown said...

I would just like to correct some of the blatant lies that pass as commentary on this blog. You see, it is not true that *I* received the check 8 months ago. In fact, no one received the check 8 months ago; it was received somewhere in the October-November region. I don't know when exactly because the check was not actually mailed to me, but to my parents in Wheaton (3 states away from where I live, but in the very same state that Tom, Haney and Fig live).

When my parents received the check, I notified my roommates that the check had come, and if I had had the check in my possession, I would surely have sent it to them in short order. But, since I was across the country, I had no more control over what happened to the check than they did. As it happens, unexpectedly, and without any fault on my part, difficulties arose.

After a few weeks it was discovered that my parents--not me--had misplaced the check. Being the responsible roommate that I am, I took it upon myself to call CPM immediately to issue a new check, explicitly directing them to send the check to Tom and Haney. Of course, if Tom and Haney had had the initiative to go to the CPM office, located just a short walk from their apartment, they would have the check now, and could rest easy knowing that their precious fucking money was secure. As it happens, they failed to visit the office, and CPM, because it is run by a gaggle of retarded monkey fetuses, mailed the check to me. Thus, once again, the responsibility for the check was thrust upon me, the unwilling but dutiful roommate. So, once again, I had to step up where my roommates didn't and take control of the situation.

This I was and am totally willing to do. But you see, I am in law school and I have about 30 minutes of spare time a day. I usually use the time to get in a small meal or indulge myself with a few moments of quiet reflection--that is, when I'm not providing free legal services to the less fortunate.

So yes, Tom, Haney and Fig, the check is at my house. You could have talked to CPM about the check to prevent this from happening. Or, you could have picked it up at my house any time in the last month or so when you drove within 15 minutes of my it on your way home from school. Or, you could have just called my house (you all have the number) and explained to my parents, the actual possessors of the check, that you needed the money immediately because you failed to allocate your existing funds in a responsible way. Since you chose to do none of those things, the onus again falls on me to set the situation right. I suppose I will ask my parents to again risk sending this large sum of money through the mail, if that is what you really want. Or, alternatively, you could stop whining about every little inconvenience that befalls you and actually take some steps yourselves to retrieve the check. After all, unlike me, you ACTUALLY LIVE IN ILLINOIS and can physically retrieve the check.

If I'm right, though, you guys will continue to do nothing. In fact, none of you, except possibly Haney, even need the money immediately, Fig because he has a well-paying job, and Tom because his father owns the mint. Most likely, you guys are just bitching about this because you're bored and need something to bitch about. In that way, I am actually providing a service to you. I let you feel like victims, something your rich, white, lazy asses would not be able to accomplish otherwise. To demonstrate, let me ask you: How do you feel right now? You probably are extremely excited to respond just because it will give you something to do in between taking an afternoon nap and playing xbox all afternoon. So, you're welcome.

The check should be coming shortly. I just hope that my poor, inner city clients won't mind that they'll have to wait a while for someone to hear about how their house was foreclosed because the law student who was going to transcribe their story had to arrange for his friends to get more booze money.

Tom said...

Gene your rant proved one thing, you are Joaquin Phoenix.

I talked with CPM in person twice and over the phone more than 5 times. You also never told us that the check was at your house over break. I had to call CPM when I got back to school to actually find out that it was mailed to your house. Was I suppose to sense that the check would be mailed to your house? And before you respond, I was informed by CPM that I could pick up the check when we got back down to school so I had no reason to call them before I had gotten back down to Champaign.

Also, the work you do for the less fortunate is but a small step in repaying all the ill gotten scholarship money you have received.

Anonymous said...

Good to know you waisted your "30minutes of spare time" today to write this.

Gene, it doesn't matter who has the check, we all need to be present to endorse it, something we could have done at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Be sure to call us when you return from "across the country" so we can finally take care of this.

Anonymous said...

Haney: Maybe you could forge Gene's signiature and return the "Captain Poo Face" favor?

YES.WE.CAN said...

gene that was quite the sob story... but it did make me laugh. nice work. however i do feel josie needs to be involved to correct this situation and should be notified because gene is not surviving the stresses of law school. (hes probably day drinking/playing xbox right now...)