Bears/VMA Diary

As promised, here is the first of what is hopefully many sport and entertainment diaries.

We start a little late due to some slow service at Dos Reales in Urbana.

1st Quarter

5:58 - Without Devin Hester how many games would the Bears have won last year? Maybe 5?

5:14 - Grossman with some impressive calisthenics. Al Michaels needed to drop the Major League 2 line from Bob Uecker about Roger Dorn, "Dorn putting on some extensive calisthenics."

4:59 - Matt Forte = Good. When you run away from Bob Sanders you are damn fast.

3:02 - Do the Bears really have an Asian linebacker coach? Lloyd Lee? Maybe it was just me but I couldn't stop thinking of Lloyd from Entourage whenever I saw him.

2:45 - Peanut Tillman lays the wood to Reggie Wayne. Where the hell did laying the wood come from? Who lays wood?

2:32 - I completely forgot that Brian Griese played for the Bears last year.

1:48 - I know it's only the first quarter of the first game of the year but if the Bears can stay healthy and get a #1 wide receiver, calling Steve Smith, they could go to the Super Bowl.

:40 - Usain Bolt?

Commercial - Is it immature to laugh when I see a woman using an electric toothbrush?

2nd Quarter

14:37 - John Madden "Everyone in the NFL is sad to see Tom Brady injured." My ass, if I was in the AFC East I would be jumping for joy. It's not like he is going to die or never play again.

14:15 - Bears ball and it's 2nd and 5 and they go deep. They follow that up with a draw....wtf? Maybe someone should tell Ron Turner the Bears don't have the offensive firepower to guarantee a 3rd and 5 first down.

12:19 - Why hasn't Syracuse ever been good at football? Donovan McNabb, Marvin Harrison, Dwight Freeney...seriously what's the problem? Drew I'm looking at you buddy.

11:54 - Better stache, Marvin Harrison or referee Mike Carey?

9:38 - Why don't they make goalposts higher? We can build 100 story buildings yet can only build goalposts 30 feet high.

9:28 - Why do white people who aren't balding shave their heads? In the course of white people history it has never nor will ever look good. And I'm looking at you Anthony Gonzalez.

9:08 - Some good cocktail party information for those at home, Matt Forte is the 5th rookie running back to run for a 50 yard touchdown in his first game in the first quarter.

8:40 - Bob Sanders is on HGH. Human arms don't get that way naturally.

7:20 - For the record right now TNT is showing United 93, Discovery is running Attack on the Pentagon, and National Geographic is playing Inside 9/11.

6:45 - John Madden "Kyle Orton can throw the slant." I'd hope so because so can any high school quarterback.

5:20 - How can Kyle Orton a professional athlete, sort of, be so slow?

4:43 - John Madden with another gem, "When you first look at Lucas Oil you don't think its a stadium, you think it's an arena." Maybe someone should check if Madden is huffing Tinactin cans.

3:59 - How embarrassing is it to give up a safety? Not being able to move the ball forward is pathetic enough but to go backwards into your own end zone...watching Smallville pathetic.

2:00 - The Baltimore Ravens have by far the coolest name in the NFL. Giants, Titans, Bears, Colts, Texans, Raiders....blah. But naming a team after a sweet bird and because Edgar Allen Poe was from Baltimore is bad ass.

1:43 - Marty Booker looks like he needs a walker.

:57 - Olin Kreutz has maybe one more season in him.

:18 - G - REG!

Halftime I ventured over to the VMA's

- Rihanna is on a Beatles like pace of hits.

- Russel Brand is a douche. Yeah wearing promise rings may not be the coolest thing in the world but to make half of your monologue about the Jonas Brother's wearing them...weak.

- Also ripping on America for electing Bush for 8 years when the UK has had Tony Blair, good friends with Bush, and a new prime minister more conservative than Blair is whats the analogy...pot calling the kettle black?

- Damn Britney looks good again.

3rd Quarter

15:00 - The 'U' does most definitely not produce nobel laureates. Although it's tough to get mad at Hester.

Commercial - The Mastercard Mr. Bill clay doll commercials are awful.

Commercial - When was the last good movie that either Pacino or Deniro was in?

9:18 - Grown men with face paint should not be allowed to vote.

7:34 - #44 on the Bears, Payne, sucks. Should not be on the field.

VMA - McLovin needs to do something else funny fast. He is getting a ton out of one supporting role.

3:03 - The Bears need to get G-Reg more touches.

1:52 - Why doesn't the media get on Tony Dungy for not believing in dinosaurs and thinking the world is 3,000 years old? Seriously, these people need to be ostracized from society.

1:00 - And the Bears defense draws closer to outscoring the offense.

VMA - Tokio Hotel is a freak show. If I can't tell whether or not you are a girl or guy until you talk you need to change what you are wearing.

:15 - The Colts look really, really old. Especially Marvin Harrison.

Commercial - Speaking of getting old, the Mac commercials are getting really old.

4th Quarter

12:15 - Matt Forte = Really Really good.

VMA - I like Kid Rock. There I said it.

9:05 - Just thinking out loud but why when holding or intentional grounding gets called on the offense in the end zone it results in a safety but when the defense holds or interferes with the offense in the endzone the ball is placed at the 1 yard line?

5:58 - There are like 8 refs on the field and Ogunleye decides to head butt someone. Football players are so stupid.

4:18 - Gameover, Bears win onto the last 10 minutes of the VMA's.

VMA - Apperently Britney was the big winner of the evening. Before tonight she had never won one which is upsurd considering she has some of the most famous videos ever.

Hope you enjoyed the diary I will try and do better next time.