The other weekend I was at a ‘going-away party’ for one of my friends from high school who's going to South America for the Peace Corps for 2 years. As with these sorts of shindigs, I ran into a bunch of my old friends and acquaintances from those storied years in LZ. During one of these conversations a funny now (but horrible at the time) story came up that I thought I'd share with you. For reasons of anonymity (that you will see later), I will not reveal the names of my friends.
This story takes place during early June of 2002 in the parking lot of my high school. I was a young naïve sophomore and it was the 2nd day of finals week. I was excited because I had just finished up my last final for the day and had only one last final the next day to study for. As I waited for my dad to pick me up from school, a couple of my friends approached me and asked me if I was hungry because they had some brownies they weren't going to eat.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that these two kids were, as the phrase goes, HUGE STONERS.
Falling victim to my unquenchable thirst for sweets I undoubtedly said yes, as only an insane person would turn down free food. We made our way to the trunk of one of their cars, because that’s where the food was located (which in retrospect was very peculiar). When they opened the trunk, before me lay a white paper plate containing 2 brownies wrapped in plastic. I asked them is there any Weed in these brownies, to which they replied “No”. Unconvinced, I made them swear to God, to which they, again, obliged.
Apparently, when I was a sophomore, these were the only 2 criteria that had to be met before I ate something questionable because I proceeded to inhale not one, but both brownies, without the slightest worry of them being loaded with Mary Jane. After all, who would think that their friends would feed them ganja (at school) and then lie to them about it, as a joke? I don’t go around crushing up little pills of X in peoples drinks and telling them that the drink is fine. Maybe I should though. It appears that its hi-larious. But I digress.
Immediately after I ate the delectable desserts my two friends began to burst out laughing. When I asked what was so funny they replied “Nothing”. Like a dumbass, I believed them and went back to wait for my dad. Keep reading, the story only gets better.
When my dad picked me up, I convinced him to drive through Wendy’s to get me some delicious delicious junior bacon cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, and fries. We went through the drive through and my dad handed me my bag of food which I placed on my lap.
The next thing I remember, I am waking up in my driveway with that same bag of food sitting on my lap. The car is turned off, I am the only person in it, and it seems to be at least an hour later, judging from how much darker it was outside.
At the time, I was feeling a little weird, so I decided to just take my food up to my room and eat it there. Once I was in my room, time pretty much ceased to exists because that night I don’t recall doing anything but devouring my food and then playing handheld electronic Solitaire all night. Suffice to say, I woke up the next day having not studied for my last final that morning. All I could do was just go to school and try my best on the final hoping to not bomb.
Although I was extremely pissed off at my two “friends” for awhile after that, this story however has a happy ending. I somehow ended up just squeaking by with an A in the class and learned a valuable lesson.
DON’T EAT BROWNIES FROM YOUR STONER FRIENDS, THAT ARE SITTING IN THE TRUNK OF ONE OF THEIR CARS, AT SCHOOL, AND THEY ARE LAUGHING AT YOU THE WHOLE TIME WHILE YOU EAT THEM!
Until next time,
-M-
This story takes place during early June of 2002 in the parking lot of my high school. I was a young naïve sophomore and it was the 2nd day of finals week. I was excited because I had just finished up my last final for the day and had only one last final the next day to study for. As I waited for my dad to pick me up from school, a couple of my friends approached me and asked me if I was hungry because they had some brownies they weren't going to eat.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that these two kids were, as the phrase goes, HUGE STONERS.
Falling victim to my unquenchable thirst for sweets I undoubtedly said yes, as only an insane person would turn down free food. We made our way to the trunk of one of their cars, because that’s where the food was located (which in retrospect was very peculiar). When they opened the trunk, before me lay a white paper plate containing 2 brownies wrapped in plastic. I asked them is there any Weed in these brownies, to which they replied “No”. Unconvinced, I made them swear to God, to which they, again, obliged.
Apparently, when I was a sophomore, these were the only 2 criteria that had to be met before I ate something questionable because I proceeded to inhale not one, but both brownies, without the slightest worry of them being loaded with Mary Jane. After all, who would think that their friends would feed them ganja (at school) and then lie to them about it, as a joke? I don’t go around crushing up little pills of X in peoples drinks and telling them that the drink is fine. Maybe I should though. It appears that its hi-larious. But I digress.
Immediately after I ate the delectable desserts my two friends began to burst out laughing. When I asked what was so funny they replied “Nothing”. Like a dumbass, I believed them and went back to wait for my dad. Keep reading, the story only gets better.
When my dad picked me up, I convinced him to drive through Wendy’s to get me some delicious delicious junior bacon cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, and fries. We went through the drive through and my dad handed me my bag of food which I placed on my lap.
The next thing I remember, I am waking up in my driveway with that same bag of food sitting on my lap. The car is turned off, I am the only person in it, and it seems to be at least an hour later, judging from how much darker it was outside.
At the time, I was feeling a little weird, so I decided to just take my food up to my room and eat it there. Once I was in my room, time pretty much ceased to exists because that night I don’t recall doing anything but devouring my food and then playing handheld electronic Solitaire all night. Suffice to say, I woke up the next day having not studied for my last final that morning. All I could do was just go to school and try my best on the final hoping to not bomb.
Although I was extremely pissed off at my two “friends” for awhile after that, this story however has a happy ending. I somehow ended up just squeaking by with an A in the class and learned a valuable lesson.
DON’T EAT BROWNIES FROM YOUR STONER FRIENDS, THAT ARE SITTING IN THE TRUNK OF ONE OF THEIR CARS, AT SCHOOL, AND THEY ARE LAUGHING AT YOU THE WHOLE TIME WHILE YOU EAT THEM!
Until next time,
-M-
7 comments:
He forgot to mention the third, incredibly straight edge and trustworthy friend that also encouraged him to eat the brownies. And also laughed his ass off when he actually did
Ok, I found the correct spelling of the word...'anonymity'. It has been fixed.
and narcotic has been replaced by 'ganja' as marijuana is actually not a narcotic.
Happy? Jeez!
My favorite part of the story is that your dad left you in the car for over an hour after you passed out.
Am I the only one who isn't surprised Mark pulled an A in the class? This is Lake Zurich correct?
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