Don't Put That On The Internet

Music I Am Digging (Covers Ed.)

2010-01-27T09:31:00.003-06:00

Marie Digby - Umbrella

Buena Vista Social Club - Clocks

Nouvelle Vague - I Just Can't Get Enough

The Killers - Romeo & Juliet

Pithy Thoughts on Askmen.com's Top 99 Women

2010-01-19T12:18:00.005-06:00

Link

99. Jamie-Lynn Sigler - Seriously? She is dating that turtle guy from Entourage. No really she is.

98. Arianny Celeste

97. Sasha Grey - I prefer my women not to have every STD ever invented.

96. Diora Baird - Way, way, way to low. She needs to be in the top 50.

95.Erin Burnett

94.Alexa Chung - Maybe it's just me but I prefer my ladies not be 6 feet tall and have the body structure of a Somalian refugee.

93.Audrey Tautou

92.Carey Mulligan

91.Julia Allison

90 ->

90.Carrie Underwood - 90?!?! This list is already a freaking joke. Carrie is top 10 on this, or any other planet.

89.Denise Milani

88.Angelina Jolie

87.Maria Menounos - Apparently Maria's agency gives really good gift baskets.

86.Kristen Wiig - Look I love Kristen Wiig. One of the funniest women on the planet. But not one of the hottest.

85.Blake Lively

84.Cate Blanchett - Really? Askmen.com? I don't even think Cate Blanchett's husband would pick her over Carrie Underwood.

83.Diane Kruger

82.Jessica Simpson

81.Whitney Port - Meh-tastic.

80 ->

80.Selita Ebanks

79.Anna Paquin

78.Chelsea Handler - Again, funny chick, built like a linebacker.

77.Joanna Krupa

76.Kristen Bell - 76?! She is at least top 25.

75.Leighton Meester

74.Eva Longoria

73.Alesha Dixon

72.Ana Ivanovic

71.Sophie Monk

70 ->

70. Tricia Helfer

69.Arianny Celeste

68.Gina Carano

67.Izabel Goulart

66.Halle Berry

65.Maria Sharapova - A little too much of an Amazon woman for me.

64.Jennifer Hawkins

63.Aishwarya Rai

62.Ivanka Trump

61.Anne Hathaway - Too pale.

60 ->

60.Eliza Dushku

59.Coco Rocha

58.Cristina Hendricks - I like this pick, I like it a lot.

57.Lucy Pinder

56.Rihanna

55.Emma Watson

54.Marion Cotillard

53.Emily Blunt

52.Holly Weber

51.Taylor Swift - I feel dirty knowing she is on this list.

50 ->

50.Freida Pinto

49.Olivia Wilde

48.Megan Gale

47.Brooke Burke - Brooke Burke has seen more knives than Chef Tony.

46.Grace Park

45.Lakshmi Menon

44.Emily Scott

43.Elisabetta Canalis

42.Kim Kardashian - This ranking definitely reflects her post diet figure. Well done Kim.

41.Ashley Greene

40 ->

40.Zooey Deschanel - Excellent pick here, very underrated, in a hipster sorta way.

39.Emma Stone

38.Shakira

37.Giada De Laurentiis

36.Katy Perry - Bravo, bravo.

35.Audrina Patridge - Seriously? We are now rewarding fake boobs?

34.Salma Hayek

33.Zoe Saldana - It was a shame she was only a Navi in Avatar.

32.Mila Kunis - I remember a friend who once thought that Donna was hotter than Jackie. What a moron.

31.Brooklyn Decker - You see this Federer? This is the bar that Roddick set. You have failed miserably.

30 ->

30.Olivia Munn - Needs to be higher. She is one of the top 5 hybrids walking the Earth.

29.Odette Yustman

28.Heidi Klum - Look, 2003 Heidi was grade A hottie. But 2010 Heidi is in decline. Multiple kids, old, unfortunately Heidi you are no longer legit.

27.Jessica Biel

26.Malin Ackerman

25.Layla Kaleigh - Above Olivia, really?

24.Adriana Lima

23.Scarlett Johansson

22.Keeley Hazell

21.Kristen Stewart - Woww. Yes I pulled a J-woww there and added a "w". Kristen Stewart may not have been the hottest girl at my high school.

20 ->

20.Paz Vega

19.Monica Bellucci - Meh.

18.January Jones - A little too high, January is top 50 material, but not top 20.

17.Natalie Portman - I like Natalie Portman, great actress, cute, funny on SNL, but she isn't drop dead gorgeous.

16.Kelly Brook

15.Padma Lakshmi - Please.

14.Erin Andrews - Look we get it. Some pervert from Westmont violated her rights but to artifically bump her up like this to make her feel better is ridiculous.

13.Bar Refaeli

12.Gisele Bundchen

11.Megan Fox

10. Miranda Kerr

9. Eva Mendes - See Heidi Klum.

8. Cheryl Cole

7. Penelope Cruz

6. Beyonce

5. Jessica Alba -

4. Alessandra Ambrosio

3. Kate Beckinsale - Excellent choice. Kate Beckinsale is ridiculously hot.

2. Marissa Miller - Past her prime. See my Heidi Klum thoughts.

1. Emmanuelle Chriqui - A little too high here. I like her, she is top 20 material but she looks too much like a fembot.

Glaring misses -
Jenna Fischer - Top 10 hottie.
Minka Kelly - She got Derek Jeter to settle down. Nuff said.
Annie Wersching - 24's Agent Walker is top 100 material.
Amber Stevens - ABC Family's "Greek" hottie has at least top 50 stuff, with a lot of upside.

Music I Am Digging

2010-01-15T13:08:00.002-06:00

T-Rex - 20th Century Boy

Vampire Weekend - Giving Up the Gun

Vampire Weekend - I Think Ur a Contra

I Think Ur A Contra - Vampire ...

Traveling Wilbury's - End of the Line

Dear Mark McGwire,

2010-01-12T23:21:00.000-06:00

Nice try, but you can’t have it both ways.

Your recent admission to Bob Costas that you took performance enhancing drugs was not only hollow, but it was barely an apology. You apologized for one minute and then spent the rest of the interview qualifying why you took the steroids. You then even mentioned that you didn’t even need the illegal help because you were “born to hit homeruns.” I’m sorry Mark but the forearms you were sporting in 1998 were anything but natural.

Your excuse for starting to take steroids was because of injuries and the grind that is the regular season. Really Mark? You played first freaking base! You weren’t a catcher, center fielder, shortstop or any other position that requires moving more than 10 feet. Not to mention you weren’t often on competitive teams that were playing deep into October. Not that the injury excuse was believable from the beginning but compounded with the above factors and it’s an even bigger joke.

You also stated that taking performance enhancing drugs was a mistake. No Mark, a mistake is throwing the ball into the stands with two outs. Taking performance enhancing drugs is a lifestyle choice, not a mistake.

The fact is Mark, you came clean when it was convenient for you. You waited until all of your endorsements and sponsorships were finished. You watched as A-Rod and Canseco came clean. You waited until you saw that without an admission of guilt you wouldn’t get into the hall of fame. Knowing that induction into the hall of fame would convince a bunch of St Louis yokels to give you money to hawk their snake oil, you came clean. Please Mark, did you really think we are that dumb?

The truth is Mark you can’t have it both ways. You can’t be sympathetic and contrite while also maintaining that your records and numbers are still legit.

Did you really think we are that dumb?

Random Musings

2010-01-05T11:54:00.003-06:00

- Two part question, am I a hipster for liking The Flaming Lips, Phoenix, Passion Pit, and Mike Doughty? And is America becoming hipster because their songs are being used in commercials?

- I am still amazed how people continue to get confused by the Ipass express lanes. The signs can not be any more clearer and it's not like Illinois is the only state that has a toll system.

- "The Girl Next Door" holds up surprisingly well. After a recent rewatching, I came to the conclusion that Emile Hirsch is a great actor and that Elisha Cuthbert is smoking hot in that movie. Quite possibly the pinnacle of human hotness.

- Why does the NBA get so much crap for teams tanking when they have a draft lottery while NFL teams are tanking across the board? I don't get it.

The 5 Best TV Dramas of the Aught's (2000's)

2010-01-05T11:23:00.001-06:00

The following is my list of the best drama's of the aughts. There are a couple caveats however. I have never seen The Wire, Lost, and nor have I seen season's 3-5 of the Sopranos.

5 | Law & Order: Criminal Intent - Vincent D'onofrio is one of the most underrated actors working today. He really is the Daniel Day Lewis of television and this became frighteningly apparent when he collapsed while filming from exhaustion.

4 | 24 - While probably not a favorite of English majors, 24 is an old school, these are the bad guys, these are the good guys drama. While the first few seasons displayed better acting and range from Kiefer Sutherland, the last few still delivered an incredible amount of suspense and moments that had you talking around the water cooler and Orange Krush lines.

3 | Friday Night Lights - This show was almost cancelled twice, moved nights three different times, but still kept fighting. If great acting and story telling isn't enough, maybe I can entice you with a murderer's row of hot chicks and beefcakes whose bodies just won't quit.

2 | Dexter - I was originally going to put Dexter fifth but then it happened, the season four finale. It is so epic, so good that I'm not going to say anything else. The following clip is Dexter's morning routine that starts every episode:

1 | Mad Men - Yes I know it was only on for three years of the decade,yes I know each season is only 13 episodes, but you know what? I don't care. Every single episode is a tour de force. Jon Hamm, January Jones, and John Slattery are simply excellent while the writing and directing of Matthew Weiner is certainly worth his multiple Emmy's.

Movie Reviews

2009-12-26T10:01:00.003-06:00

Up In The Air - I have to imagine that when this movie was being greenlit the only person they envisioned as the lead was George Clooney. Clooney is outstanding and Vera Farmiga recovers from a dreadful performance/accent in The Departed. What really stood out to me throughout the movie was dialogue. It wasn't corny, Juno witty, or Curb Your Enthusiasm style improv, it was just real. All the conversations seemed normal to me which was a pleasant surprise. Overall the film flowed well and kept a pretty consistent theme without getting too deep.

Infallible Score: 89/100

It's Complicated - I'm at the point where I will pretty much see anything that Alec Baldwin is in however, I had my doubts about "It's Complicated." What did I learn? Never, ever doubt Alec Baldwin. Meryl Streep is fantastic as usual and surprisingly Steve Martin pulls off playing a down to earth, laid back architect. Weird right? "It's Complicated" was funny, witty, and well acted.

Infallible Score: 87/100

The Lovely Bones - This movie was a giant pile of crap. The story was disjointed, lacked a theme, and was downright confusing, and way too long. I don't mind long movies and actually prefer them, as long as what I'm being shown is relevant. A few of the people I saw the movie with said the story made much more sense if you had read the book. Here's the deal, a movie based on a book needs to be its own entity. Requiring a viewer to read a book to understand a movie is like assigning homework and nobody wants that.

Infallible Score: 42/100

The 10 Best Albums of 2009 #4 - 1

2009-12-22T14:09:00.001-06:00

4 | Mike Doughty - Sad Man Happy Man: Although he screwed me by changing the time of his concert, day of, I'm not holding it against him. "Sad Man Happy Man" hearkens back to the 60's and 70's when artists actually cared about the order of their album and how it flowed.

3 | Yeah Yeah Yeah's - It's Blitz! The third studio album from the Yeah Yeah Yeah's proves to be their best.

2 | Passion Pit - Manners: Passion Pit's debut album proves to be one of the freshest albums of the year. "Little Secrets", "Sleepyhead", "The Reeling", and "To Kingdom Come" are all single worthy and cause you to crank up your radio.

1 | Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix: "It's not a miracle we needed, No I wouldn't let you think so." And so goes "1901" the best song of the year but besides containing the best song of the year "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix" oozes catchy beats (Lisztomania), smart lyrics (Lasso), and instrument explortation (Love Like A Sunset). Here's to hoping that Phoenix has found their groove and continues to crank out great pop/rock albums.

The 10 Best Albums of 2009 #7 - 5

2009-12-22T08:59:00.004-06:00

7 | Wilco - Wilco: The Chicago based band's sixth studio album, "Wilco" is more uplifting than previous releases, culminating in "Sunny Feeling."

6 | Dave Matthews Band - Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King: A good but not great offering from a band moving on after the death of bandmate LeRoi Moore.

5 | Jay Z - The Blueprint 3: At first I thought marrying Beyonce would ruin Jay Z's music career, boy was I wrong. Also, great story explaining the line "If Jeezy paying Lebron, than I'm paying Dwayne Wade."

Later today, albums four through one.

The 10 Best Albums of 2009 #10 - 8

2009-12-21T10:35:00.002-06:00

10 Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion: Great album front to end.

9 Flaming Lips - Embryonic: Ok maybe this isn't their best album, or second, or third, but damn they can put on a show.

8 Hockey - Mind Chaos: Great freshman album from a promosing band.

Albums seven through four coming tomorrow.

Random Musings

2009-12-16T11:31:00.002-06:00

- Is it just me, or is everyone at their crankiest when they are tired and hungry? I swear to god this is the reason why sports trades fall apart. One GM loses sleep over what to do, doesn't eat lunch till late, and right before he sits down to eat he gets a call asking what he wants to do and the response is "never call me again!!! I need to eat!" This is why business meetings always have food, people get cranky if they don't eat.

- I want to thank society for allowing us/me to use the word "rape" when describing sport beatdowns.

- If you could have one person's phone contacts who would you pick? Obama? Jordan? Bono? All seem like logical choices but the answer is Jay-Z. When even my dad knows who you are, you have truly penetrated every segment of society.

- It's really unbelievable how similar Ron Zook and Lovie Smith's career tracks have been. Both had one incredible season, Rose Bowl/Superbowl, and then subsequent let downs. It's uncanny.

Music I Am Digging

2009-12-16T09:07:00.002-06:00

Gossip - Heavy Cross

Hockey - Song Away

Hockey - Too Fake

Collective Soul - December

Collective Soul - New Music - More Music Videos

Friday Potpourri

2009-12-11T08:31:00.002-06:00

- People from New York are dumb. 175 square feet? Seriously?

- 40 worst movies of the decade

- Even Jesus said no to ND

Bobby Bottleservice's Jersey Shore audition tape -

Bobby Bottleservice - Jersey Shore Audition Tape - watch more funny videos

Saturday Potpourri

2009-12-05T09:46:00.002-06:00

- Christmas lights, ditto

- Mayweather - Pacquiao fight will be March 13th...drool

- Weis called before Christ

- 2004 - 2005 Illini 7th best team of the decade

- Three boys attacked for being "gingers"

- Awkward Family Photos

Chinese media on Tiger Woods -

Barackroll -

Best lines of Twilight -

The Rock returns -

Stone Cold saves team WWF -

Thanksgiving Potpourri

2009-11-26T12:06:00.003-06:00

- 26-Year-Old To See Every Ass$%#& He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving

- Illinois vs Arizona voted #1 game of the decade

- British judge takes day for Modern Warfare 2

- 35 Truisms that couldn't be truer

- 5 Hilarious Star Wars facebook status updates

- Hacked e-mails fuel global warming debate

6 year old lays the wood:

Random Musings

2009-11-24T12:16:00.002-06:00

- If you had a draft of actors who have never made one million dollars or more for a movie, would Joseph Gordon-Levitt be the first pick?

- David Gray is really underrated. "Babylon" and "This Year's Love" are fantastic songs. Although they definitely qualify for the Schuessler "roll your windows up" theory.

- Why does Enterprise Rent-A-Car continue to air the "black or red" commercial? It's creepy, no one likes gingers outside of a certain KPMG employee, and its not even funny because its corny. Do us all a favor and return to showing cars driving around while wrapped in grocery bags.

- I feel like "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" is becoming the Dave Matthews Band of television. Dave's first three albums were off the charts awesome however the albums that followed, while good, just couldn't stack up to the unreachable bar the first three set. The same goes for Sunny, the first three seasons is arguably the greatest collection of television comedy ever made. Season four and now season five have had their moments; Night Man Cometh musical, Next Paddy's Model, and Mac and Charlie Die. However, there have been a lot of "meh" episodes and some down right misses. I hope I'm wrong but I just don't see Sunny being able to consistently match those first few seasons.

5 Steps To Fix The Bears

2009-11-23T11:11:00.000-06:00

1. Sign Brandon Marshall. Since it looks more and more like next year will be an uncapped year, the Bears will be able to front load the first year of a long term deal.

2. Draft Eric Decker (WR, Minnesota) in the 3rd round. If/when I become a GM in the NFL this is how I would construct my wide receiver core: A big, physically imposing receiver (Brandon Marshall/Larry Fitzgerald), a super fast edge receiver (Eddie Royal/Devin Hester/Desean Jackson), and a white receiver who runs great routes and is super dependable on 3rd down (Wes Welker/Brandon Stokely/Jordy Nelson). With Hester, and now Brandon Marshall, the addition of Decker gives the Bears one of the most imposing receiver corps in the league.

3. Sign an elite offensive lineman. Again the Bears are already way under the cap and should have plenty of money to get a top guard or left tackle.

4. Cut Orlando Pace. If only so I can stop hearing "The Ohio St. University" on Sunday night games.

5. Use your 4th, 5th, and 6th round picks on corner backs and safeties. I'm still holding out hope that year two under Rob Marinelli will produce some results and with Urlacher back next year the linebacking core should be above average.

Do these and you have a 10 or 11 win team with a bright future.

Music I Am Digging (High School Ed)

2009-11-23T01:37:00.003-06:00

(I recently found some CDs I burned from high school)

The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike

David Gray - This Year's Love

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle

Nelly - Ride Wit Me

Friday Potpourri

2009-11-20T00:48:00.002-06:00

- I have a better body than Derek Jeter

- Is it just me or is that crazy New Mexico soccer player kinda hot?

- Dad speaks Klingon to child for three years...I'm not kidding

- St Louis falls from its perch as the #1 STD city in America

- Bono has officially lost his mind (courtesy of Mike T.)

Greatest car commercial ever:

I have never been more excited for a show:

College Humor rips Seth MacFarlane:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

O'B's Rules of the Road

2009-11-19T12:25:00.002-06:00

1) Passing on the right is NOT ALLOWED. It should be illegal.

2) If you are in the far left lane and get passed on the right by even one car, you should get the eff over right away.

3) Cars that are merging should have the right of way. period. They already have enough to worry about. And, don't act like you didn't see them coming.

4) Use an effing signal to change lanes. Is it really that hard?

5) Trucks should not be allowed to pass other trucks on a two-lane highway unless there is significant room to do so.

6) If you can't grow the cojones to pass a truck correctly and swiftly, join them.

7) Construction zone speed limits should only be posted in locations where work is actually being done, say a mile before and after the work. That way, maybe people actually obey them.

8) Use effing cruise control. If a driver makes an attempt to pass, the person being passed should remain at the same speed at least until they are passed. And, God forbid if someone does this while you have to pass them on the right...

10) Don't ride my ass. When I have a chance to get over, I will. Once again, do not be the person to start the 'passing on the right' train. It only causes the people trailing more problems if they desire to make a correct pass. And, it makes the person trying to get out of the left lane look like a complete douche.

11) On a more serious note, I see a person driving drunk nearly every weekend that I make the drive home from my girlfriend's house around midnight. Don't do that either.

The 7 Reasons Why Notre Dame Should Join The Big Ten

2009-11-16T21:35:00.002-06:00

1. Officiating. I witnessed firsthand at the 2005 Notre Dame/Boston College game officials either giving BC good spots or Notre Dame bad spots every chance they could. Until Notre Dame joins a conference they are always going to be at an officiating disadvantage.

2. Natural rivalries. Notre Dame already plays half of the Big Ten in football. Unfortunately their non revenue sports teams are forced to play Seton Hall, South Florida, and Providence. Joining the Big Ten would allow Notre Dame coaches to sell recruits on playing true rivals and other athletes they competed with throughout high school and the travel circuit.

3. Scheduling. Because most teams are playing conference opponents later in the year, Notre Dame has to play top teams early in the year. If Notre Dame joins the Big Ten they can still play Navy and Army early in the year and USC during their Big Ten bye week later in the year

4. Big Ten Championship game. A championship game played yearly in Detroit (if Detroit still exists in a few years) or Indianapolis would generate a million dollars for each member school. Who doesn't want a million dollars?

5. Travel. Belonging to the Big East forces Notre Dame's other athletic teams to travel to New York, Florida, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. Traveling to nearby Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, and Illinois would save the school loads of money.

6. Big Ten Network. Last year the Big Ten Network generated a profit of nine million dollars for each school. That's the same nine million dollars that Notre Dame received from NBC. Now factor in that Notre Dame doesn't get any money from away games that are on ABC/ESPN/CBS or that the TV money from being in the Big East for basketball is not very much when divided 16 ways, and you find that Notre Dame's TV revenue is significantly less than Big Ten schools.

7. Notre Dame needs to win something. Look, Notre Dame will probably never be the same dominant football program it was up until 1988. Colin Cowherd probably said it best; Notre Dame is cold, isolated, Catholic, and white. While competing for national championships year in and year out may no longer be an option, winning Big Ten championships is.

Belated Friday Potpourri

2009-11-15T16:30:00.002-06:00

(Sorry I was out of town)

Best Football Stadium Eats

Duck Hunt

7 Foot 4 Inch Wide Receiver

Christopher Walken reads Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"

Youtube parody of John Lennon's "Imagine"

Music I Am Digging

2009-11-09T12:10:00.002-06:00

Eminem - Till I Collapse

Jay-Z - Empire State of Mind

Flaming Lips - Do You Realize?

Friday Potpourri

2009-11-06T01:48:00.002-06:00

(Jasmine approves of this week's Potpourri)

- The best football stadium food.

- Where the hell does Rajon Rondo get off?

- Stephen Colbert will sponsor the US Speedskating Team.

Batman's Vanishing Act

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

DirecTV really has gone too far:

Dicktowel.com

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 launch commercial...drool

More Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Info

Random Sports Musings

2009-11-04T23:26:00.002-06:00

- When the Yankees win the World Series do their fans feel satisfaction or relief? It took almost 2 billion dollars to win one World Series. Imagine all the good that could have been done DOWN IN AFRICA (last part sung/yelled to Toto's "Africa".

- I hate when coaches/teams tell the fans they are best. First of all, whose fans are best is completely subjective. Second it looks forced and pathetic when people like Ozzie Guillen with the White Sox or Jim Leyland with the Marlins say it.

- When the line for your book signing is longer than a line for a free burrito at Chipotle you are officially the most popular sport writer in America. Well done Bill Simmons.

- Over/under on the number of calories consumed by CC Sabathia in the next week. 40,000? 50,000?

- How hysterical is it that the Yankees' GM last name is Cashman? Why aren't there more jokes about this.

- I ripped the Yankees to shreds tonight on Facebook, most of which directed at their payroll, but if Cubs spent a billion dollars this off season and they won the World Series I could care less. I'd gladly be a hypocrite for a championship.

They just don't make 'em like they use to

2009-11-03T20:36:00.004-06:00

I was watching Bloodsport the other day for the millionth time and began to think of all the great songs/montages from 80's movies. So without further ado, here's some of my favorite.

Bloodsport - Fight to Survive (aka "Kumite")

The Karate Kid - You're the Best Around

Rocky - Eye of the Tiger

Footloose - Never

Teen Wolf - Win in the End

Top Gun - Highway to the Dangerzone

Revenge of the Nerds

Saturday Night Fever - Staying Alive

Until Next Time,

-M-

I'm starting to realize that I'm a dumbass

2009-11-01T18:14:00.006-06:00

This is just a short list of items that come to mind from the last couple of weeks of how I'm a dumbass.

(1) I showed up for my soccer game today and there wasn't anyone at the field. And I didn’t' have my phone to call anyone because it ran out of batteries the night before. So I went back home, only to realize that today was daylight savings time and I was there an hour early.

(2) My parents were dropping my car off in my parking spot behind my apartment yesterday, but there was a car parked in the spot so they couldn't park. I was not with them and asked them to describe the car. It didn’t' sound like either of my roommate's car, so I had the car towed so that they could park and drive home. Turns out the car was my roommate's girlfriend's car that I had towed. So I feel like a huge piece of shit.

(3) I was out of town for business and arrived in Temple, TX at my hotel at 11:30pm. When I walked up to the counter and said I had a reservation, I was informed that they didn't have me in the system. Also, I was told that there were no rooms there or anywhere else in town (since it was Baylor's homecoming weekend). I started to freak out wondering where I was going to sleep. I called the emergency number for my company and they helped me realize that I was at the wrong hotel. I had changed my reservation and forgot.

(4) I went to Six Flags Great America for a work function a couple of weeks ago. The park had been rented out, so there were no lines anywhere. After riding 8 roller coasters in about 45 minutes, I started to feel a little queasy. I thought it might just be because I hadn't eaten anything yet that day, so I got a cookie and Sprite from Southwest Territory (for those of you familiar with Six Flags). After a couple more coasters, I made my way to the Viper. On the ride I began to feel terrible and threw up on one of the turns. Again, when the ride came to a stop, I threw up again. I had puke on my arm and had to apologize to the staff when we pulled into the station. Suffice to say, I was pretty embarrassed.

Just thought I would reflect on my idiocy in the hopes that recognition will be the first step to improving my decision making.

Until Next Time,

-M-

Friday Potpourri

2009-10-30T09:50:00.002-05:00

What are the odds that Kentucky doesn't think decommitting is dishonorable?

The top 10 funniest unintentional company url's.

Friends put a Twilight fan in his place.

More idiot Twilight fans.

Gamecocks are game with contraception, Notre Dame? Not so much.

Obama shatters Bush's golfing record; takes him only 9 months to play as much as Bush did in 2 years and 10 months.

New Avatar trailer:

What an Earthquake near Seattle would do:

Jimmy Kimmel owns Melissa Joan Hart:

Random TV Commercial Musings

2009-10-29T22:33:00.003-05:00

- The David Spade Direct TV commercials are weird as hell. David Spade must really need some cash because desecrating the memory of your dead best friend is pretty low. Almost as low as blowing guys for coke. Stay tuned.

- I want to punt that "smart little girl" from the Chevy commercials about her big girl seat. First you are a Ginger, you shouldn't be allowed to see the light of day. Second, you are a terrible actress.

- The new Bud light commercials are great. I can envision say any one of those lines to my friend Tyler.

- Those Smirnoff Ice commercials are the stupidest/most ridiculous commercials in a long time. Has anyone, ever, heard of people going to an abandoned gas station, painting it purple, and then dancing with lights on their heads? And who the hell is paying for these insane parties?

- I think the marketing people behind the Miracle Whip commercials have been watching a little too much Mad Men. Buying Miracle Whip only says you like Miracle Whip. Nothing more, nothing less.

- Oddly enough, I like the insane Levi's commercials that make no sense. Jeans are jeans, but I appreciate the effort in making commercials that drive English majors crazy.

The 8 Reasons Why Basketball is the Best Sport

2009-10-26T17:50:00.003-05:00

The following is a list of the eight reasons why I think basketball is the best sport. Not just the best sport to watch, not just the best sport to play, but rather wholly, the best sport.

1. Basketball is far and away the easiest team sport to play with friends. I can count on one hand how many times I have played unorganized baseball games. Finding a group of guys to play football is easier than baseball however, the actual game is a mere shadow of the version of football played in the NFL. What about hockey and soccer you say? Your only chance of finding pickup hockey or soccer games is if you live in Toronto or Europe, respectively.

2. Basketball players are accessible. Whether its high school, college, or pro if you are sitting within the first 15 or 20 rows you can read the players body language and often hear what they are talking about. Basketball players also don’t wear helmets or facemasks like they do in football, baseball, and hockey. The only difference between the Dee Brown I saw on the court and the Dee Brown at Gulley’s was a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt.

3. Basketball is by far the best sport to play by yourself. The only sport that put up any fight is soccer but again “it’s soccer Greg.” You can train for hockey, football, and baseball but in basketball not only can you train but you can also shoot hoops, the main goal of the sport of basketball. And you know what? I can shoot hoops for hours and never get bored. It’s the best

4. Basketball has a better atmosphere at every level. I have been fortunate enough to attend one of the best high school football games in a long time (Joliet Catholic vs Riverside Brookfield) and one of the best high school basketball games in recent memory (#1 Crane with Sherron Collins vs #2 Marshall with Pat Beverley). And you know what, the atmospheres weren’t even close. Watching Collins and Beverley battle for two hours on a cold December night was one of the greatest experiences of my sporting life.

I have been to #1 Wake Forest vs #3 Illinois and to the Notre Dame vs USC “Bush push” game. On paper the USC vs ND game had tons more going for it, hated rivals, new coach, “team of the century”, Heisman winners and you know what, the intensity of the crowd was infantile compared to Assembly Hall. Basketball games flow; they don’t go three plays, punt, timeout. The energy the crowd provides players is real and climaxes when a player hits a three point player to cap off a 10-0 run. Coaches in basketball have to call timeouts because of crowd noise and atmosphere.

5. Basketball, unlike football and baseball, doesn’t have old farts complaining tradition and legacy. Basketball over the last 30 years has done the following; instant replay, three point shot, extended the three point shot, 24 second shot clock, changed the court length and width, etc. Baseball just this year added instant replay on home run debates and the NFL still has sudden death overtime that is inherently biased towards the team that wins a coin flip.

6. Basketball players are physical specimens. I could most likely run better 100 yard dash and mile times than 25% of NFL and MLB players where as I could say that about maybe 3% of the NBA. Now comes soccer and hockey, yes these guys are probably in as good of shape and even possibly better than the average NBA player but you know what? The guys that play soccer and hockey are no different size wise than my friends. I want my athletes to be larger than life. I want them to be dominating monsters who we know could destroy us, and we are totally cool with that. NBA players walk into a bar and instantly recognized by everyone there and you know why? Because they are towering over everyone else. The best soccer player in the world is a guy named Lionel Messi and he is 5’ 8’’, the best basketball player? Try Lebron James, 6’8’’.

7. Basketball has by far the best post season tournaments. From the Chicago Public Championship, to March Madness, to the NBA playoffs, basketball’s post season tournaments are the best. College football’s championship game is determined by computer and humans, much like ice skating. Home field advantage in baseball is determined by an exhibition game. Soccer might put up a fight except that there are so many tournaments I have no idea which is most important (world cup, UEFA, Euro cup, premiership). The Super Bowl is sweet but when the commercials are usually better than the games something is wrong. Hockey might come close but when the Frozen Four is on ESPN2 the debate is over.

8. Basketball contains the least amount of luck. In a typical football game each team will possess the ball anywhere from ten to twelve times a game. In a typical basketball game each team possess the ball 60 to 100 times a game. Thus allowing for the better team to assert its dominance over the course of a game where as in football a couple of outliers can determine the outcome of a game. Baseball however, blows away football in terms of luck. Bloop hits, bad bounces, and wind, just to name a few, can cause outcomes of games to change drastically. I won’t even go into soccer or hockey where a team can have 10 or 20 more shots on goal and lose. Basketball is the only sport where for the most part, the better team wins.

In conclusion, I’m not saying basketball is perfect or that it’s better than every other sport in every way. Hardly, basketball sucks to gamble on, the NBA season is a little long, and college basketball is riddled with cheaters, but at the end of day when compared to every sport, basketball is king. And if I didn’t convince by now, these videos will put any lingering doubts you have to rest.

Music M and I Are Digging

2009-10-26T14:45:00.003-05:00

M is digging:

Menomena - Wet and Rusting

Holland - 1945

I am Digging:

Cornershop - Brimful of Asha (Norman Cook remix)

Mase - Welcome Back (staple of cruising in a friend's Lumina in high school)

Mike Doughty - (You Should Be) Doubly (Gratified)

Phoenix - Lasso

How Illinois Can Rise From the Ashes

2009-10-23T13:19:00.002-05:00

This is the second part in which I examine why Ron Zook failed and what needs to be done to create a winning football program.

1. Fire Ron Zook. Look, I love Ron Zook about as much as any man can love another without going all Brokeback Mountain but the truth is he can't coach. What's the best example? Iowa 2007. He switched quarterbacks, accepted a penalty when Iowa failed to convert a 3rd down that of course led to a conversion and subsequent score, and he abandoned the run in the 2nd quarter. Ron Zook is the ultimate defensive coordinator. Let him recruit and concentrate on managing the defense. Juggling a program, player development, and coaching acumen are not his strengths.

The Zooker is owed a hearty thank you, however. He made Illinois football important again, beat #1 Ohio St., and got us to the Rose Bowl. Thank you Ron, your effort and enthusiasm was unbridled and we appreciate it.

2. Hire Kevin Sumlin. Sumlin is the current head coach at Houston and former offensive coordinator at Oklahoma for five years. Spending five years under Bob Stoops is an apprenticeship second only to Pete Carroll. His teams play disciplined and explosive football, adjective sorely missed the past 5 years under Zook. Sumlin is only making $700,000 a year which means you don't have to break the bank to lure him away. Not to mention a roster loaded with talent and facilities that are among the best in the country.

3. The time is now to make a move. Letting Zook go and hiring Sumlin before December rolls around allows for a few things. First, it gives Sumlin a chance to re-recruit the players Zook currently has committed. Second, it also allows Sumlin to go after kids who eliminated Illinois during the recruiting process. Lastly, it allows you to gain some on and off campus momentum. Sumlin can attend basketball games, alumni meetings, and QB clubs during the winter.

4. Retain assistant coach Reggie Mitchell. Mitchell is responsible for recruiting Chicago and Michigan. Keeping him on board allows for some continuity on the staff and a familiarity for committed recruits. Reggie has been nothing but outstanding on the recruiting front and I can't imagine him changing with Sumlin around.

5. Find a way to allocate $2 million+ for assistants. Athletic Director Ron Guenther was able to privately finance the renovation of Memorial Stadium, new training facilities, indoor and outdoor tennis facilities, new baseball and softball stadiums, new golf training facilities, and the renovation of Huff Hall. I'm willing to bet he can come up with cash to pay our assistant coaches competitive salaries.

Complete these 5 steps and Illinois can once again rise up and become a big time player in college football.

Friday Potpourri

2009-10-23T09:11:00.003-05:00

- Bruce Weber needs to recruit more kids like this.

- Green Man!

- Why do African American players goto SEC schools?

If you didn't think Duke way gay before, this will officially change your mind:

Oh Philly,

Why Illinois Went From the Rose Bowl to the Toilet Bowl

2009-10-22T08:01:00.001-05:00

"Why Illinois Went From the Rose Bowl to the Toilet Bowl" will be the first in a two part series in which I will examine why Illinois got to where it is now and how it can be fixed."

1. Scheduling. Playing Missouri in St. Louis to open each campaign is only for programs like Alabama, Southern Cal, or Texas. Illinois is not an elite program and needs to start with the Nevada’s and Eastern Kentucky’s of the world. Not to mention playing Western Michigan in Detroit or going to Cincinnati.

2. Admissions. During the first couple of recruiting classes Ron Zook was allowed a little leniency when it came to letting in risky kids. Yes, a risky kid for Illinois is a Nobel laureate in the SEC or with Tom Crean but that is neither here nor there. After a few years the admissions department no longer allowed Zook the leniency they previously showed and Illinois missed out on some very good offensive and defensive lineman.

3. Assistant Coaching. In Zook's five years he has had 3 offensive line coaches, 2 defensive line coaches, and 3 offensive coordinators. That is not the way to build continuity, especially when all of the new hires except for one were from the outside.

4. Institutional Backing. Quite simply the University of Illinois does not care about winning football games. They are on a mission to create the best public university in the world and winning at football is too expensive, too time consuming, and quite frankly most of them were more concerned with keeping their jobs. Illinois will never have the athletic budget of an Ohio St. or Texas but what it can be is much more efficient. Ron Guenther has done a tremendous job building stadiums and practice facilities, now he needs to find a way to compensate assistant coaches, the lifeblood of programs.

5. Coaching. I never expected Ron Zook to be the best X's and O's coach in America. I did however expect him to at least get something out of the talent he was able to recruit. Watching Bruce Weber go 16-19 with Chester Frazier, Briand Randle, Shaun Pruitt, and Trent Meacham was one of the best examples of coaching players up that I have ever seen. We were blown out in 2 games and hung with top 10 teams all season. All too often we overlook the fundamental ability to coach in favor of recruiting (Zook), showmanship (Calipari), and tanned skin (Tom Crean). Show me someone who can coach and I'll show you someone with a winning record. You see ,Ron Zook was a simple country boy. Some might say a cockeyed optimist, who got caught up in the dirty game of world diplomacy and International intrigue. At some point you have to be able to coach, and Ron Zook just wasn’t good enough.

Coming up later today, the second part in which I detail how Illinois can rise up from the ashes.

Music I Am Digging

2009-10-20T10:58:00.002-05:00

MGMT - Kids

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)

David Guetta (feat. Akon) - Sexy Bitch

Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend

(Yes I know the video is really weird)

Random Musings

2009-10-20T10:43:00.001-05:00

- Is Gary Bettman running MLB? The NLCS on TBS, Chip Carey and Tim McCarver as announcers, forcing the Twins to play less than 24 hours after winning game 163, 4 hour games, and playing an ALCS game at 3 pm central? Fail.

- On a scale of 1 - 10 how embarrassing is my liking of the song "Sexy Bitch"? A 27? Seriously, I love everything about the song; the lyrics, the beat, the shouting of "without being disrespectful!" I have to think that this is the next generations "Call on Me." If you are in college and this is the case, please let me know.

- Are cars the last stereotype left? I feel I can correctly guess a driver's ethnicity/gender simply by the car. VW bug? A white chick. Low riding, yellow Chevy pick-up truck? Hispanic dude. A Mazda Speed hatchback with black rims? An electrical engineer. You get my point.

- The NFL is 24,512 times more fun to watch when your favorite team has an elite quarterback. Seriously, before this year I would only watch Bears games. Now I pretty much watch at least 6 hours of NFL football a weekend.

Friday Potpourri

2009-10-16T00:02:00.003-05:00

- Jenna Fischer and bikini. The two most glorious words ever.

- Do you ever dream this man?

- Usain Bolt vs Asafa Powell to race, in cars.

- Where or where did you go global warming?

- Gasp, technology/engineers once again save us from an "energy disaster."

- If my constant baggering to watch Mad Men didn't get to you, maybe this will.

- Hey Ron Zook, I know you are desperate but seriously show this story to any recruit from the south and they are yours.

- Hitler reacts to CO's closing

- I've said it before, but seriously Japanese people are crazy

Terrifying Sniper Prank on Japanese TV - Watch more Funny Videos

Week 6 Picks

2009-10-15T09:24:00.000-05:00

People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed To Vote: Bar Edition

2009-10-12T16:20:00.006-05:00

The extremely feminine guy wearing an Obama shirt - There is a time and a place for making a political statement and a bar is not one of them. In the words of the "the most interesting man in the world" the only party you should be concerned with, is the after party.

The skanky sorority girl wearing ugg boots and a skirt when its 50 or below outside - Odds are this will be the same girl puking her brains out on the sidewalk at 2 am or crying about losing her cell phone. But seriously, boots and a skirt? In the words of Dennis Reynolds, "there’s no need to call the police. Because the only crime that’s being committed today is the crime of ugliness. And sadly, you can’t press charges for that."

The skanky sorority girl who spills her drink on you and doesn't even bother to apologize or offer to pay for dry cleaning - Nothing more really needs to be said, if you spill a drink on someone at the very least apologize.

The guy smoking in the men's bathroom - Take your cancer sticks somewhere else Sean Penn. Besides, picking up girls who are smoking just outside the bar is like shooting fish in a barrel. Hell anyone who is single, and desperate just follow this simple five step process. Step 1: Buy 1 pack of cigarettes, preferably American Spirit. Step 2: Buy a badass lighter. Step 3: Go to bar and wait outside the entrance. Step 4: Bum a cigarette to a girl. Step 5: You are doing the no pants dance.

THIS IS ILLINOIS!

2009-10-12T08:55:00.003-05:00

(Friday Bruce Weber secured yet another verbal from a top 50 player in the 2011 class)

Monday Potpourri

2009-10-12T08:33:00.002-05:00

Sorry for missing the last few Fridays, both times I have been out of town.

According to ESPN/Sagarin Illinois is the 6th best basketball program of all time.

People who live in underground Las Vegas flood tunnels.

Afghanistan a test of the Obama Doctrine?

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Campaign Trailer:

Video Game - E3 2009 - Video Game Trailers

Trailer for 2012: Worst movie ever

Kate Beckinsale is really, really fine:

Week 5 Picks

2009-10-06T10:56:00.001-05:00

Friday Potpourri

2009-10-02T12:15:00.004-05:00

- Random financial guy sees a 10 year bull market.

- Not surprisingly the famous "hockey stick" graph showing global temperatures rising is wrong, temperatures haven't been rising.

- Tufts University bans sex in dorm rooms while your roommate is there.

- I love Mike Doughty's music but god damn he is a retard.

Luigi finally snaps:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Minesweeper, the movie:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

100 Greatest Youtube moments in 4 minutes:

The Top 10 Date Movies

2009-09-30T13:29:00.001-05:00

As a connoisseur of date movies, the following list represents the best movies to watch with a lady/man friend on a date. Each movie will also have a recommendation for the minimum amount of time a couple should date before seeing said movie.

10. Definitely, Maybe (2008) - Say what you will about "Van Wilder" and "Waiting" but Ryan Reynolds can act. Elizabeth Banks, Isla Fischer, and Rachel Weisz also contribute to a solid movie that hooks you from the start. I recommend dating for at least 6 months before viewing due to the nature of the film; true love, marriage, and divorce.

9. Almost Famous (2000) - Good music, good story, and a young and nubile Kate Hudson make for a great movie. I recommend dating for at least 3 months as it has some deeper issues and tones that require knowing your partner fairly well.

8. An Officer and A Gentlemen (1982) - The ladies will love all the men in uniform and the gentlemen will like how much of a badass Richard Gere is. I only recommend 1 week of dating before seeing this movie.

7. Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - India's "Romeo and Juliet". I recommend 3 months of dating just to make sure the lady in the relationship is ok with a little violence.

6. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) - High school shenanigans, little bit of a love story, rebellion, and growing up are tackled in the background of the world's greatest city, Chicago. I recommend dating for 1 month before viewing.

5. A Knight's Tale (2001) - The ladies will like it for Heath Ledger and the gentlemen will like it for jousting, sword fighting, and a killer soundtrack, Bowie anyone? A Knights Tale is innocent enough that you can watch after a first date.

4. Jerry Maguire (1996) - Great movie to curl up with a bottle of wine on a cold night. Tom Cruise and Renee Zellwegger have great chemistry and Rod Tidwell was the highlight of the Arizona Cardinals franchise before last year's Super Bowl. I recommend dating for at least 2 weeks before viewing.

3. A League of Their Own (1992) - I don't think I have ever met a girl who didn't love this movie. Tom Hanks is hilarious and Geena Davis is both hot and surprisingly athletic. I recommend dating for at least 4 months before viewing because you don't want to waste this gem on some 2 week fling.

2. When Harry Met Sally (1989) - Once you get past the idea of Billy Crystal actually having a chance with late 1980's Meg Ryan you find a well written, witty movie about relationships. Date for at least 8 months because it is a very deep movie that may or may not send a message you want to send.

1. Princess Bride (1987) - Without question, Princess Bride is the greatest date movie of all time. The story is easy to follow, has great dialogue, a little eye candy for all, and best of all it has a young Fred Savage. Did I mention that Andre Giant is in the movie as well? I recommend viewing the Princess Bride at any time because if your significant other doesn't like it, then you won't be liking them.

Week 4 Picks

2009-09-29T13:26:00.001-05:00

Week 3 Picks

2009-09-21T13:59:00.000-05:00

Friday Potpourri

2009-09-18T10:23:00.002-05:00

Floyd Mayweather says that being black has hurt him from being a bigger star. Tiger Woods and Lebron say whats up.

Must click of the week: 4 Awkward Moments in Facebook "Likes"

College kid kills thief with samurai sword...i'm serious.

Reason #24,583 why people in advertising are morons.

Totally awesome lacrosse fight:

Terrelle Pryor, like the OSU fanbase, is a moron:

Kanye interrupts Obama:

God damn hippies:

What Jay Cutler needs to watch before the Steelers game:

Ernie Harwell, all class:

Week 2 Picks

2009-09-17T11:27:00.003-05:00

Random Musings

2009-09-16T12:58:00.003-05:00

- Kings of Leon's next album will be snarky, moody, and crappy. The pressures of new found stardom combined with the backlash from fans of their work before they made it big will cause them to crumble.

- Versus, the tv channel, is awesome. Here is a list of the movies they have shown just within the last 2 weeks: Rocky4, Bloodsport, Tin Cup, Blue Chips, Bull Durham, and Field of Dreams. All they need is The Rock and Shawshank Redemption and I would never watch another channel.

- The nation's #2 football recruit, Kyle Prater, will decommit from USC and enroll at Illinois come January. Prater is starting to see the writing on the wall that getting on the field at USC isn't an easy thing to do.

- Twitter is to stalkers, what the internet was to porn? Seriously, has stalking been any easier?

- Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 will be the largest selling game of 2009 and 2010.

The Top 10 Albums of the Aughts

2009-09-14T21:32:00.004-05:00

Honorable Mention:

"Elephant" The White Stripes (2002)

"Stankonia" Outkast (2000)

"Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King" (2009)

"Oracular Spectacular" (2007)

"Trey Anastasio" (2002)

#10 "Life In Cartoon Motion" Mika (2007) - The love-child of Freddy Mercury and Elton John, no seriously he is, google it...ok I'm kidding but admit it you thought it was possible for a second. Anyways, Life in Cartoon Motion has songs and lyrics that are both fluffy and deep.

#9 "Golden Delicious" Mike Doughty (2008) - Mike Doughty is the man. If I was a film maker he would be my Kenny Loggins. "Golden Delicious" is the best "summer" album of the aughts. To clarify, a summer album is an album that you forget about from November to February but come March you don't stop playing it and thinking of chilling at the beach or on a boat.

#8 "Youth and Young Manhood" Kings of Leon (2003) - Made famous recently by "Sex on Fire" and "Use Somebody," few of their mainstream fans are aware that their best work was done on "Youth and Young Manhood." From the chorus in "Happy Alone" to the screaming in "Joe's Head" the debut album from Kings of Leon is their best work.

#7 "Vampire Weekend" Vampire Weekend (2007) - The self titled EP from the Columbia University band offered a very unique and fresh sound. From the first catchy single"A-Punk" to the sleeping giant "One (Blake's Got a New Face)" Vampire Weekend delivers a fantastic debut album.

#6 "Unclassified" Robert Randolph and the Family Band (2003) - The first time I saw Randolph was when they were opening for O.A.R. Needless to say they stole the show and our roller coaster of a relationship started. A year later they were playing Canopy Club at U of I and showed up 2 hours late, which was terrible because we were all 19 and couldn't buy drinks. Randolph is back to opening for O.A.R. but their debut album "Unclassified" is still one of the best of this decade.

#5 "Is This It" The Strokes (2001) - Led by the single "Last Night" "Is This It" announced the Strokes' arrival with authority. While they never lived up to the hype, "Is This It" is still an excellent album top to bottom.

#4 "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" Wilco (2002) - "Jesus Etc." headlines a deep, melancholy album that reflects America's sobering attitude post 9/11. Unlike that charlatan Bruce Springsteen,Wilco beautifully puts to music our feelings without coming off like douche bags, ie. Bruce Springsteen.

#3 "Alligator" The National (2005) - Relatively unknown, The National's third album "Alligator" is truly a gem. Every song flows into the next and almost needs to be listened as a whole to truly appreciate it, ala Sgt. Pepper.

#2 "Graduation" Kanye West (2007) - I have to admit, every time Kanye opens his mouth he makes it harder and harder for me to like him. However, the man can mix beats and write lyrics. "Graduation" is by far the best collection of his work and is headlined by the third single from the album, "Homecoming." When "Homecoming" is the third single on your album, you know you have a winner.

#1 "Hot Fuss" The Killers (2004) - You knew it was coming. "Hot Fuss" is to albums what Willie Mays is to five tool baseball players. Song bars blast that gets the ladies going? check, "Somebody Told Me." Song that you put on at a party and everyone stops what they are doing and sings along? check, "All These Things That I Have Done." Stadium rocking song with a great chorus and deep lyrics? Check, "Mr. Brightside." "Hot Fuss", like Willie Mays, has it all.

Week 1 Picks

2009-09-09T18:16:00.003-05:00

Heisman Watch - Preseason

2009-09-04T12:31:00.002-05:00

Back by popular demand (I think there was one request that I do it again), we’re back for another season of Heisman updates. Last season was a raging success, so much so that I don’t remember who I chose to win the award. Anyway, let’s get to the preseason picks for this year. Last year I had Chase Daniel in the top spot in the preseason and he didn’t even make it to New York for the presentation ceremony. This does not bode well.

1. Tim Tebow QB Florida
He’s the best player in the country for the third straight season. Scary. Also going for his third national championship. Even scarier.
Next: Saturday vs. Charleston Southern

2. Sam Bradford QB Oklahoma
Last year’s winner starts at number two this year because his team isn’t as good as Tebow’s and he doesn’t save impoverished nations the way Tebow does.
Next: Saturday vs. BYU

3. Colt McCoy QB Texas
McCoy is the last of a three-headed monster in this year’s race. After him, it’s quite a dropoff.
Next: Saturday vs. Louisiana Monroe

4. Dez Bryant WR Oklahoma State
Bryant is the best receiver in the country (although Arrelious Benn might have something to say about that). Receivers almost never win the Heisman, but a huge season could change that. The tests start early as the Cowboys welcome Georgia.
Next: Saturday vs. Georgia

5. Jahvid Best RB California
Best is the best (get it?) running back in the country and averaged 8.1 yards per carry last year. If he can handle a lot of carries, he could overtake the top three.
Next: Saturday vs. Maryland

Honorable Mention
Jevan Snead QB Mississippi
Jonathon Dwyer RB Georgia Tech
Eric Berry S Tennessee
Daryll Clark QB Penn State
Taylor Mays S Southern Cal
Terrelle Pryor QB Ohio State
Noel Devine RB West Virginia
C.J. Spiller RB Clemson
Jake Locker QB Washington
Juice Williams QB Illinois

Friday Potpourri

2009-09-04T08:16:00.004-05:00

Mississippi St. recruit takes down gunman and saves the lives of 22

Interview with the sexiest man alive, Jay Cutler

10 secret menu items at fast food chains

Charlie Weis gets bitched, billboard style

MTV to remake Teen Wolf into TV series

AshleyMadison.com:

Timelapse footage of LA fires:

Tennessee football team + Lamborghini + chains + oil = crazy delicious?

Toy plane at Dodger game:

Girls's Costume Store in New Jersey:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Illinois Football Preview - Offense

2009-09-02T11:08:00.003-05:00

Let me begin by saying I am excited about the 2009 Illinois football season. Not as excited as last season coming off the Rose Bowl year (yeah that’s right – the Rose Bowl), but excited nonetheless. There’s no reason this team shouldn’t win at least 8 games and contend for a New Year’s Day bowl game. With that said, there are some deficiencies, some new coaches and a lot of inexperience on both offense and defense. Here’s a look at the offense.

Quarterbacks

Juice Williams enters his fourth year as a starter. He’s expected to be the leader of not only the offense but the team as well. Juice should be the focal point of the offense, using both his arm and legs as he tries to break the Big Ten’s all-time yards mark held by Drew Brees. If he can find enough accuracy to go along with his self-titled ‘Bazooka’ arm, it could be a second BCS trip for Juice and the Illini. Juice has at least two capable backups in junior Eddie “Put in” McGee (Greg’s favorite) and redshirt freshman Jacob Charest. If these were the days of Tim Brasic, both guys would probably be starting, but now Juice is the starter without question. (Side note: If anyone honestly thinks McGee should be the starter, you should forfeit your season tickets and give them to me. Juice, while inconsistent, is a four-year starter and might break the Big Ten’s ALL-TIME yards mark. That’s all-time. You know Drew Brees, the guy going in the first round of fantasy drafts across the country? More than him. More than Heisman winners Troy Smith and Ron Dayne. That’s impressive. Juice was the catalyst recruit in the turnaround of Illinois football. Give the kid a break and let him start without hearing that McGee is better. Eddie has a chance to win the starting job next year and I hope he does well. But he should not be the starter. End of rant). True freshman Nathan Scheelhaase is a hybrid of Juice and McGee and will probably redshirt before competing next year with McGee and Charest for the starting spot. I really like this group from top to bottom and think it compares very favorably with the rest of the Big Ten.

Grade: A-

Running backs

There’s no dominant back like a few years back with Rashard Mendenhall, but there is a lot of depth at the position. Senior Daniel Dufrene is probably the starter at this point, and he has the most experience. He just has to stop fumbling or figure out how to deceive the refs into thinking he never did fumble ala at Ohio State in 2007. Behind Dufrene are sophomores Jason Ford and Mikel LeShoure, who are both bigger backs and should handle most of the carries around the goal line. Ford had a few nice games last year handling a lot of carries, so he has the potential to step in as the starter. Freshman Justin Green figures to see some time too cause he’s a fast dude and those are usually good in football. Troy Pollard is a Coach Zook favorite (picture) and will see some carries, but he is always hurt. If you could combine these five guys, you’d have a great back. Now it’s up to new offensive coordinator Mike Shultz to figure out how to use each guy so that it creates the perfect running game.

Grade: B

Wide Receivers

This is the offense’s and the team’s strength hands down. Led by All-Everything Arrelious Benn, this group is the best in the Big Ten and might be the deepest in the country; the receivers could legitimately go 11 deep. I would expect Benn, Florida transfer Jarred Fayson and senior Jeff Cumberland to be the main threats, with seniors Chris Duvalt and Chris James, sophomores A.J. Jenkins, Fred Sykes, and Cordale Scott and freshmen Jack Ramsey and Terry Hawthorne rotating in and out (Hawthorne might play defensive back too). That’s a lot of guys who will stay fresh and ultimately wear secondaries down with their speed and versatility. Off the top of my head, these guys were rated out of high school as follows:

***** (Benn and Fayson)

**** (Cumberland, Duvalt, James, Jenkins, Scott, Hawthorne)

*** (Sykes, Ramsey)

For comparison, Northwestern is very excited about a *** who just committed and they expect him to be their top receiver next year. So yeah, the Illini receivers are good. They just need their quarterback to get them the ball.

Grade: A

Tight Ends

Michael Hoomananoui (is this spelled right? I’m not going to look it up) is the top guy at TE and he is as good as they come. He had an increased involvement in the offense last year and he should have more passes thrown his way this year. Sophomore Hubie Graham is developing into a nice receiver and should see time in the two tight end set. Converted fullback Zach Becker is a walk-on who played a lot last year and figures to see time again.

Grade: B

Offensive Line

This unit returns four starters and will be led by two seniors in right guard Jon Asamoah and center Eric Block. Sophomore Jeff Allen filled in nicely as a freshman right tackle last year and will be expected to move over and play on the left side this year. Ryan Palmer will play right tackle and Randall Hunt will be the left guard. Overall, this group is pretty mediocre in terms of individual talent outside of Asamoah, but the O-Line isn’t about individual ability, it’s about teamwork. Someone cue the Bruce Weber national championship game speech (A fist is more powerful than five fingers, guys). That’s a nice way of saying I have little confidence in the line this year but you never know and they are returning four guys. If they can give Juice time, watch out.

Grade: C+

I think the offense is going to put up a lot of points this year and lead the Big Ten in yards. Based on the talent coming back on defense, it may have to simply outscore teams to win, but this group can handle it.

Prediction time: Juice breaks the all-time yards mark and beats out Terrelle Pryor and Daryl Clark for the Silver Football award and the Big Ten MVP. Benn doesn’t put up huge numbers but commands enough double teams that the other receivers run free and wild all season. Dufrene starts the season as #1, but Ford becomes the top back and leads the running backs in rushing. Williams, Benn, Cumberland, Hooman, Asamoah all get drafted into the NFL. 9-3 and a trip to a New Year’s Day game (Not the Rose Bowl)

Friday Potpourri

2009-08-28T09:51:00.001-05:00

This was the only version I could embed but this guy is unreal -

Danyl Johnson - The X Factor UK Talent Search 2009 - Funny home videos are a click away

GQ's Top 25 Douchiest Colleges

Dayman!

Best of the Rock

Calipari complicit in Rose scandal

Sauna World Championships...I'm not kidding.

People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed To Vote

2009-08-26T12:10:00.003-05:00

Indiana Athletic Director Fred Glass - In the words of Bruce Willis, "Glass? Who gives a sh$t about glass?" Glass decided that rather than playing Penn St. at home, he would sell that right for $3 million and play the game in DC at Fedex Field. If Indiana already sold its soul to hire Kelvin Sampson, would this be reverse mortgaging their future?

The American justice system - Mike Vick tortures and kills some dogs and he gets 2 years in jail. Donte Stallworth drives drunk and kills a guy and he gets 30 days in jail. Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the leg and he gets 2 years in jail. I would love to see someone in the justice system explain those sentences to someone from Europe or Asia.

Reggie Rose - As Derrick Rose's brother, Reggie became Derrick's unofficial spokesman and kept him under his wing. Sports Illustrated and ESPN naively assumed that Reggie had Derrick's best interests in mind when it came to his college recruitment. But really Reggie was just trying to make as much money as he could off his brother's hard work. By getting his grades changed and having a friend take the SAT for him, all Reggie did was do him a disservice. I was disgusted then and I am still disgusted now that Orange Krush leaders started Reggie Rose chants at the 2007 Orange and Blue game.

Music I Am Digging

2009-08-26T11:43:00.002-05:00

Passion Pit - Little Secrets

Blues Traveler - But Anyway

Common - Universal Mind Control
Common feat Pharrell - Universal Mind Control

Muddy Waters - Mannish Boy

Snow Patrol - Shut Your Eyes

The Top 10 Bands You Hate to Love

2009-08-25T11:12:00.000-05:00

The following is my top 10 list of bands that I hate to love. I know I am supposed to hate them but for some reason I keep coming back for more.

Honorable Mention:

Sheryl Crow - Liberal idiot, dated Lance Armstrong, sings about sunny days and having fun yet I like her.

Survivor - Their music is crap, but when played behind Rocky and Drago I love it.

Bon Jovi - If only he wasn't from Jersey.

#10 Mika - Grace Kelly, Love Today, and Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) is the murder's row of shower singing songs. With a new album coming in a month get ready to turn up your car radio, along with your windows, and sing along with Britain's most flamboyant singer since Elton John.

#9 P!nk - Things I learned today, P!nk spells her name with a !. Also she makes really catchy songs.

#8 Enrique - You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape the catchiness of Enrique.

#7 John Mayer - John Mayer sings songs about love, girls, and walks on the beach, strike one. John Mayer dates more hot chicks than Derek Jeter, strike two. John Mayer is your girlfriend's favorite guitarist, strike three. While Mayer should be out by now, you find yourself still liking him.

#6 John Cougar Mellencamp - Where do I begin? Singing about America, American people, American companies, I could go on but I really don't want to. I do however have to applaud John for reminding Americans that this is our country. I really can not believe "Jack and Diane" came out of your mouth. Did I mention he's from Bloomington?

#5 Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons - Culturally relevant again thanks to the Broadway play Jersey Boys, however I think the reason people our age like them is because our mothers listened to them while we were infants. Does this mean my kids will like Prince? I can only hope.

#4 Train - Kinda whiny, sings about girls, yeah Train should be really annoying. But screw it, Train is all kinds of awesome. Who aged 18-30 can't sing along to Meet Virginia or Drops of Jupiter? And if they can't do you really want to be friends with them? Didn't think so.

#3 Grease - While not technically a "band" Grease has so many good songs it more than qualifies for this list. "Grease Lightning", "Summer Nights", and "You're the One That I Want" were staples of high school dances. And while outwardly you complained about dancing to them, deep down you thought Grease was boss.

#2 Kid Rock - I dislike tattoos, Detroit, and guys with long hair yet for some reason I like Kid Rock. I really can't explain it. No seriously I can't, I just like the guy's music.

#1 ABBA - Sweden is famous for three things, IKEA, hot blondes, and ABBA. ABBA is made up of two semi-hot chicks and two creepy guys who wear crazy outfits and dance around like idiots while singing about nonsense and guys named Fernando. You want to hate them, you want to loathe them, you want to wipe them from the face of the earth, but you can't. But it's ok because the rest of the world likes them too, to the tune of selling 400 million albums. Yes, 400 million.

Friday Potpourri

2009-08-14T03:16:00.002-05:00

Cool story about recently deceased John Hughes.

One of the coolest inventions I have ever seen -

Top Gear in Vietnam...

Trailer for the "Big Fan"

New trailer for "Where the Wild Things Are"

Trailer for "Fantastic Mr. Fox"

Lollapalooza 2009 Review

2009-08-10T10:09:00.019-05:00

I'm not going to pretend that I have great ability to review bands. But here's what I thought of the weekend (from what I saw)...

Friday
Ben Folds - Pretty much kept it to the more popular songs. Played "Bitches Ain't Shit", which was awesome. Grade = A

Fleet Foxes - Only heard a couple songs, but they harmonized really well. Reminiscent of Dispatch in that way. Pretty chill songs. Grade = B

Asher Roth - From "I Love College". One word...SHIT! Tried to remix his one song and made it even shittier than it already is. Grade = F-

Thievery Corporation - You may know one of their songs from the Garden State soundtrack (Lebanese Blonde). Huge band, great blend of music styles, very entertaining. Grade = B+

The Decemberist - Didn't attend, but heard they were awesome. Quote from Fig's friend Elchy, "Best performance of the weekend." Grade = A

Peter Bjorn and John - Heard maybe 4 or 5 songs of theirs. They were ok. Fig had recommended them. Grade = B-

Kings of Leon - Sounded exactly like they do on album. One of the best, if not the best, performance of the weekend. Played a bunch of good songs. Grade = A+

Saturday (didn't get there until 6pm)
Rise Against - This hurts me to say since I'm a Rise Against Fan, but their performance was just...eh. It was hard to hear the vocals and if you didn't know the songs, then it really wasn't very entertaining, since it's a lot of yelling. Also, he started to talk about politics at one point, which made me want to take a burning hot fire poker to my temple. Grade = B-

Ben Harper and Relentless7 - Ben Harper with his new band. They were good. Unfortunately, he really wasn't playing many of his older songs that most people would know. However, it was still good stuff. Grade = B+

Tool - For some reason they didn't have camera's on the band, so you really couldn't see them while they were performing. Instead, they were just showing like music videos for every song. While they were entertaining, they didn't provide the live concert experience. Also, their lead singer just stood toward the back of the stage the whole time. Other than that, they sounded good. Grade = B+

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - As usual, the lead singer, Karen O, was owning the stage and extremely entertaining. Along with their new single (Zero), the Yeah Yeah Yeahs included an acoustic version of Maps that was pretty cool. Overall, my favorite performance of the weekend. Grade = A+

Sunday (Best Day By Far)
Ra Ra Riot - This was my first time hearing them, but a pretty solid band. Kept the crowd entertained. Unique in that they have an electric violin and cello. Grade = B

Davy Knowles and Back Door Slam - A band that is clearly inspired by a blues background. Face melters and shedding guitar solos were around every corned. Also, they had an organ in the band. Very entertaining. Grade = B+

Cage the Elephant - You may know their single "Ain't no rest for the wicked", but unfortunately this was tied for the worst performance of the weekend with Asher Roth. The vocals were horrible and they just seemed really inexperienced. Out of their element and high school band-esque. Grade = F-

Kaiser Chiefs - Played a ton of great songs. Good acoustics so we could hear the vocals really well. Accompanied by a very energetic lead singer, the Kaiser Chiefs killed it. Grade = A

Dan Deacon - Recommended by Fig, this 20ish person progressive techno group was nuts. They were super entertaining and got the crowd involved constantly. At one point, I was dancing through a tunnel created by the hundreds of concertgoers. Along with an interpretive dance performed by the audience, Dan Deacon made me feel like I was at Woodstock or at a Polyphonic Spree Concert. Grade = A

Vampire Weekend - Even though they don't have a huge volume of songs to choose from, VW played pretty much all of their hit songs (Oxford Comma, Campus, M79, etc.) Sounded good live. Grade = B+/A-

Lou Reed - I'm sure bunches of older people there were really enjoying seeing him, but it just wasn't doing it for me. Not that he was bad, just a bit too mundane for me. Grade = B

Snoop Dogg - Biggest surprise of the weekend. Snoop-A-Loop killed it! Best part was having House of Pain guest star for "Jump Around". Grade = A

Silversun Pickups - I didn't think I had heard of this band, but turns out I know 3 of their songs pretty well. They're on Q101 a lot recently with their new single "Panic Switch". This group has a similar sound to The Smashing Pumpkins. Awesome and really energetic in concert. Grade = A

The Killers - They opened with "Human" and had a really amazing light show for the concert (same one as the Euro MTV Music Awards if you've seen them). Brandon Flowers sounded pretty much exactly the same as he does on album. They were really good, but for some reason I was just underwhelmed by the performance. I think they just didn't live up to the hype that I expected. Grade = A-

Jane's Addiction - Lead singer Perry Farrell is out of his fucking mind. I can't even imagine how many drugs this guy's on. If nothing else, the show was entertaining because Farrell was so out there and we got to see him fall apart on stage. He would go off on rants about crazy shit in the middle of every song. My favorite was, (paraphrased) "There are times in my life where I'm like 'FUCK, I'm gonna die. I've gone too far this time. This is it for me, for sure.' But then I survive, and am like, 'Fuck it! Let's do it again.' But, you know, the body is like a vessel. There are times when people are like 'Perry, you're sunk. That's it for you.' But I just say 'FUCK YOU!' You know." All in all it was very entertaining to say the least and Dave Navarro was there shredding lead guitar. Grade = B+/A-

To sum it up, Lollapalooza was the shit!

Until Next Time,

-M-

Friday Potpourri

2009-08-07T12:19:00.002-05:00

At least fat rolls are good for something.

Mauer to be managed by Mauer?

Great Yahoo article on MLB pitching.

FC Barcelona laughs at our tiny stadiums.

Seth Rogen gets denied by Megan Fox -

The 10 Best Films of The Ought's

2009-08-07T11:18:00.000-05:00

Inspired by a conversation between Bill Simmons and Chris Connelly in the BS report, I present to you the 10 best films of the Ought's.

Honorable Mention:
Juno
Hotel Rwanda

10. Match Point (2005) - The only best of list you will find Match Point on is rain scenes with white shirts. Scarlett Johanson and Jonathon Rhys Meyers give fantastic performances of people dealing with the consequences of attaining lifestyles beyond their means. To me, Match Point is Woody Allen's best work in a long, long time.

9. Almost Famous (2000) - For those of you that read or listen to Bill Simmons, you already know that he considers Almost Famous the best film of the Ought's. While Almost Famous is very good, maybe I am just a little bit too cynical but I find a few of the scenes a little bit cheesy. The best example is when they all sing "Tiny Dancer" on the tour bus. That scene can't be defended with a straight face.

8. Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - Great story, great acting, and since it is done in flashbacks I feel it will have a very high rewatchability factor.

7. Children of Men (2006) - Clive Owen and Michael Caine both give great performances, as they always do, but the directing is the real star of this movie. The movie peeks, like an 8th grade boy, with a 5 minute, single camera, scene following Clive Owen as he wanders through a war zone.

6. Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (2003, 2004) - While they are technically two movies, they are for all intensive purposes one movie. At first I didn't want to believe that Uma Thurman could be an action star. Man was I wrong. Thurman is fantastic and the late David Carradine is even better as Bill. As in every Tarantino movie, the dialogue is top notch and the directing is superb.

5. Traffic (2000) - Trying to determine what is better, Steven Soderbergh's directing or Benicio Del Toro's tour de force acting, is like trying to determine who is a better person, Jesus or Tim Tebow. There is no right answer.

4. Million Dollar Baby (2004) - Hilary Swank, the female Daniel Day Lewis, is fantastic and Clint Eastwood nails both the acting and directing. The boxing scenes are especially well filmed.

3. Blood Diamond (2006) - Simply put, Blood Diamond is excellent. The acting is great, the story is even better, and you are constantly worries about Luol Deng getting killed.

2. Gladiator (2000) - "Are you not entertained!" Yes Russel, we are most definitely entertained. Gladiator scores the #2 spot on this list because its extremely high rewatchability. At first you say to yourself that you will only stick around for a few fight scenes but then its a 2 hours later and you're chanting "Maximus! Maximus!" and holding back tears as the movie goes to credits.

1. The Dark Knight (2008) - There really wasn't much of a debate in my mind. Christopher Nolan's epic tale of good vs evil is as good as it gets. The cinematography is top notch, as is the acting and dialogue. I have no doubt its rewatchability is also top notch because I have watched it three times within the last month. And like Gladiator, it has a villain who steals the movie, the late Heath Ledger. The only flaw in the entire movie is Maggie Gyllenhaal but she gets what's coming to her. The Dark Knight has no wasted scenes, no pointless fights. The Dark Knight is more than just an action movie, its an examination of human nature, right vs wrong, good vs evil. Hopefully The Dark Knight will inspire future action movies to reach for much more than cool special effects and good looking women.

Friday Potpourri XXL Edition

2009-07-31T00:27:00.003-05:00

Lance Armstrong inspires cancer patients to finish third.

Government finds out that paper has two sides.

Fantastic Op-Ed from Thomas Friedman on Tom Watson

John Travolta might want out of Scientology.

How Obama's healthcare plan might affect the NBA.

Sox fans are just as dumb as Steve Bartman.

Tax the rich to pay for fatties?

Over/under on the amount of times you will watch this guy's elbow pop: 7.5

Hilarious wedding intro -

Bus race, Top Gear style -

Sam Thompson, 2011 recruit, Whitney Young, Chicago -

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 multiplayer...drool -

Random Musings and Music

2009-07-30T17:42:00.002-05:00

- This Obama "beer summit" is simply a joke. If Bush had done this Jon Stewart would get at least two weeks of jokes out of it and Keith Olbermann would have had one of his classic 6 minute rants.

- For the record I was right about Urlacher throwing a tantrum a few months ago.

Music I am currently digging:

The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll (Liked it for awhile, they finally did a video for it)

Bloc Party - Banquet

Vampire Weekend - White Sky (unreleased but will possibly be on their next album)

Guy I Don't Want To Be

2009-07-27T11:27:00.002-05:00

"Guy I Don't Want To Be" will be a new feature in which I explore and find people that I never, ever want to become.

The dad moving his "Trixie" daughter into a Lincoln Park apartment while wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt - I saw this shell of a man yesterday and couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He had the same look on his face as Brady Quinn did during the 2007 Sugar Bowl. The "oh my god, this is happening and I can't stop it" face.

The super-overweight guy not wearing his shirt while driving a cigar boat - If it was up to me the swimsuit industry would be regulated as harshly as the ~~financial market~~ food industry. Nobody wants to see overweight men and women parading around without shirts on or while wearing ill fitting bikinis. Oh, and your cigar boat isn't hiding anything.

The guy playing golf while his girlfriend/wife rides along in the cart - This guy is either completely whipped or is trying extremely hard to combine golf and time with his significant other. Either way he has terrible time management skills.

Friday Potpourri

2009-07-24T10:19:00.002-05:00

11 Sexy Photos Ruined by People in the Background

Good read on the NFL and their latest anti-trust case that could affect all team sports

Shawne Johnson likes her Tacos -

Wii Sports Resort Review -

Wii Sports Resort at IGN.com

The Rock and Mick Foley -

People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed To Vote

2009-07-23T17:10:00.002-05:00

Professor Henry Louis Gates - First, can we please stop with the three names, you aren't Martin Luther King. In case you live under a rock, Professor Gates was arrested outside his house for disorderly conduct after police showed up because of a break in report. Gates has since called the arresting officer a racist and even President Obama said the police acted stupidly. The same "racist" police officer taught a class in avoiding racial profiling for 5 years and was also the same officer who rushed to perform CPR on Boston Celtic Reggie Lewis who collapsed during a practice. Seriously Gates, silence your mouth.

People who drive VW Bug Turbos - Why these people shouldn't be allowed to vote is really self-explanatory. Seriously, a Turbo Bug?

Flomax marketing agency - In their latest ads, men with bladder issues are playing golf and having to leave mid-round to urinate. If there is one activity where you can literally "whip it out" and pee golf is it.

John Calipari - John Calipari just launched a website, coachcal.com, where for a monthly or yearly fee you can get access to more videos and information about Coach Calipari and the Kentucky Wildcats. For a guy who will have both of his Final Fours erased from the records, you'd think he would behave a little more cautiously.

Perfection

2009-07-23T16:34:00.004-05:00

Congrats to Mark Buehrle on pitching his second career no-hitter, and his first perfect game

I wish I would have been home for this!

All 27 outs...
Make sure to check out Wise's catch in the 9th

Friday Potpourri

2009-07-17T10:15:00.005-05:00

Big falls in store for Duke, Missouri, and Marquette?

BRUUUUUUUUUUUCE!

I don't know if I want this to be real or not:

Kinda cool:

Senator Boxer...pwned!:

Ridiculous futsal goal:

Classic WWF, Cause Stone Cold Said So!:

People Who Shouldn't Be Allowed To Vote

2009-07-17T09:35:00.001-05:00

People who turn right at 3 mph at busy intersections - These malcontents of society bother me in two ways. First, they cause you not to miss making a left handed turn at a busy intersection. Second, they cause you to miss a light with their ignorant trepidation. Semi trucks and other oversized carriers are obviously exempt but there is no reason for someone driving a Toyota Camry to turn so slowly.

People who brew their own beer - First of all the beer is rarely good. Second its not like there is a beer shortage across America. Beer is extremely cheap, why spend hours cooking your own crappy brew?

White Sox fans who sit behind home plate and where a goat mask - Look we get it, you have an inferiority complex but please don't make fun of Cubs fans for believing in curses and then go wear a goat mask.

Fans who buy anti t-shirts - This applies to all Cubs, Sox, and Cardinal fans. Buying a shirt mocking another team is about the stupidest thing I could ever think of doing. Racking my brain for all the people I know who own such shirts produces a list of societies unwanted, derelicts, and miscreants.

People who drive Jeep Wranglers without doors - Never, not once, have I ever been driving or riding in a car and thought to myself, 'you know what would make this a more enjoyable experience? removing this ill-placed door.' No door, no vote.

Friday Potpourri

2009-07-10T09:03:00.002-05:00

Al Gore likens the fight against manbearpig (global warming) to the fight against Natzi Germany.

In case you have been living under a rock, Google is launching a new OS that will rival Windows.

U of I Law School professors and administrators bitch slap the Tribune.

ZOOKED! #1 TE commits to the Illini.

New trailer for District 9...looks pretty badass.

Video Games - E3 2009 - Attack of the Show

Train vs. Tornado

This guy gives college students everywhere a bad name.

The Top 10 Instrumental Movie Themes

2009-07-08T21:11:00.003-05:00

The themes below were ranked based on their quality, how recognizable they are, and my personal taste. Enjoy.

Honorable mention:
Saving Private Ryan, Independence Day, James Bond, Jaws, and Twister.

10 - The Rock (Hans Zimmer)
A great action movie theme that never fails to get you pumped to watch a 60 year old Sean Connery beat up elite ex-marines.

9 - Batman (Danny Elfman)
Eerie theme that fits perfectly with Tim Burton's 1989 big screen adaptation of Batman.

8 - Pirates of the Caribbean (Hans Zimmer)
Hans shows up again with another upbeat and fist pumping theme.

7 - Gladiator (Hans Zimmer)
Yes I know there is some random woman singing in some random language. But since it isn't in English it's in.

6 - Hook (John Williams)
John Williams makes his first appearance of many to follow. "Flight to Neverland" fits the movie so well and is seamlessly used throughout Hook.

5 - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (Michael Kamen)
Simply a fantastic theme song that is often played by high school bands and national symphonies.

4 - Jurassic Park (John Williams)
A movie as epic as Jurassic Park needed an epic theme song and John Williams came through in flying colors.

3 - Indiana Jones (John Williams)
Try not to whistle along, it can't be done.

2 - Superman (John Williams)
By now I have stopped typing "John Williams" and instead going with copy and paste. This theme is only second to one.

1 - Star Wars (John Williams)
John Williams sweeps the top four while also getting five of the top six. No theme is more universally recognized than Star Wars nor does any theme match its quality or beauty. The second you hear the first note memories of the film go racing through your head. Star Wars and John Williams are simply the best.

Friday Potpourri

2009-07-03T08:53:00.007-05:00

Note to self: Never insult a mobster's girlfriend.

Chicago to Champaign in 50 minutes? Yes Sir.

Maryland coach Gary Williams is not a fan of Calipari and other cheaters.

Movie Trailer, The Informant -

Woman opens beer cans in a unique way -

I probably won't be buying this anytime soon -

Funny recut of the movie "Big" -

Map of Beer consumption in the U.S. - (click on map to enlarge)

MLB Ticket prices - (click on graph to enlarge)

Michael Jackson's Ten Best Songs

2009-06-28T09:47:00.003-05:00

Before I delve into Michael's best songs here are a few thoughts:
- I never really got the child rapist/pervert jokes. If he did indeed mess around with kids than those jokes should really be offensive and out of line. And if he didn't mess around with kids than that's a pretty crappy label to stick on a guy.
- Is it really a surprise that Michael Jackson ended up so screwed up? 95% of child stars end up in rehab, unemployed, or like Danny Bonaduce. Miley Cyrus was 14 when her career took off, Michael was 9. Then take into consideration that he watched his Dad use his mom as a punching bag and is it really a wonder why he turned out the way he did?

Anyways onto the list.

10 - Beat It
The first of five songs from Thriller, "Beat It" is probably most famous for the ridiculous "knife fight" in the music video. What's hidden underneath the song is a fantastic guitar rift made even more famous in Fall Out Boy's recent cover.

9 - I Want You Back (Jackson 5)
This list would be incomplete if it didn't include a Jackson 5 song. While "ABC" may be more popular, this is their best song. It's really unbelievable that a nine year old boy is singing this song. Seriously, what were you doing when you were nine?

8 - Man in the Mirror
Quite possibly Jackson's most underrated song. "Man in the Mirror" may be the ultimate shower/driving alone in your car song.

7 - P.Y.T.
The second song from Thriller on this list might be my favorite guilty pleasure song. Seriously, who doesn't love P.Y.T.s?

6 - Smooth Criminal
"Smooth Criminal" lands at #6 and would most certainly be the top song of any pop singer from the 90's or later. The dancing from the 7:40 mark on is simply incredible. The beat, the refrain, the video, trying to determine what was the best part of this song is a quagmire on par with Vietnam.

5 - Wanna be Startin' Something
The third song from the Thriller album, "Wanna be Startin' Something" has been referenced or used in more than 15 covers. The African chant at the end was most recently used by Rihanna in "Don't Stop the Music".

4 - Black or White
The first single from Jackson's "Dangerous" album, "Black or White" is not only a great song but it is also a fantastic video. Watch the video closely and you will see what will become an insane/crazy/diva known as Tyra Banks.

3 - Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
Jackson's first single, "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" might truly be the only positive thing to come from disco.

Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough
by chilavert

2 - Thriller
Culturally, no song has probably had a bigger impact than "Thriller". From the famous zombie dance to being the first black singer to have a video on MTV, "Thriller" revolutionized the way music videos were made.

1 - Bille Jean
"Billie Jean" is simply without question the ultimate pop song. From the beat to the lyrics, the song is perfect. Jackson's performance of "Billie Jean" at the 25th anniversary of Motown might be one the greatest performances of all time.

Friday Potpourri

2009-06-26T08:38:00.002-05:00

Good article about Rafa Nadal and the grueling style of tennis he plays.

Reason #1,345 why New York and anyone associated with New York sucks.

Pixar/Disney grant dying girl's last wish. Even better, they didn't want media attention from it.

The girl who doesn't age.

Just a head's up to my good friend Jake, don't sleep piss on people.

The greatest website in the world.

Great infomercial:

WARNING...THIS VIDEO IS NSFW...SERIOUSLY THIS VIDEO IS VERY INAPPROPRIATE...But nevertheless it is hilarious:

Whither Slammin’ Sammy?

2009-06-23T11:04:00.001-05:00

The Editors of DPTOTI would like to welcome guest blogger, Peter.

We all knew this was coming. Whether you’re a die-hard Cub fan like myself, or the most ardent of all Cubs haters, we knew that sooner or later, the other shoe was going to drop on the steroid suspicions that have swirled above the head of Sammy Sosa. So when I read that Sammy Sosa had been on the list of 104 players that tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) back in 2003, the same “anonymous” list that Sports Illustrated had previously found A-Rod to be a member of, I couldn’t say that I was surprised. Disappointed, of course, but surprised, no.

Now, I’m not going to sit around and bemoan the fact that Sammy took PEDs, and might have also lied under oath before a congressional committee back in 2005 (I’ll let the Feds worry about that one). The fact is Sosa, as well as countless other players of his era, used PEDs and undoubtedly accomplished greater hitting (and pitching) achievements than they could have without them. The question is, now that MLB has seemingly gotten its act together with monitoring and punishing PEDs use among active ball players, how do we assess the retired, or soon to be retired, players who might have used PEDs to gain an unfair edge above the competition?

Step one, is full disclosure. That means finally releasing the names of all players who had previously tested positive for steroids. Yes, I know that those tests in 2003 were given with the promise that the results would be kept secret from the public, and that releasing them is a betrayal of players’ trust, but if the Serena Roberts of the world can get access to those names, then it’s really only a matter of time before they all get leaked. Rather than allowing the names to be leaked one by one over an agonizingly drawn out period, why not just tear off the band-aid all at once and release all names now? Sure it will be painful now, but it will save baseball from an extended period of sporadic steroids revelations which will continually remind people about how talented that era was.

Step two, let’s cut the players some slack. Let’s remember that many of these guys were using PEDs during a time in which the MLB had no clear policy on steroids or other PEDs, which means that they weren’t really breaking MLB rules. Under this laissez-faire steroids regime, the average MLB player would no doubt look around at these suddenly “juiced” guys, and realize that in order to advance his career and continue making a living, he better jump onboard and use PEDs. This included established stars who wanted to make even bigger bucks (Jason Giambi), middle of the road utility men who wanted to hit a few extra home runs (Brett Boone), and aging pitchers who wanted to keep their careers alive (Roger Clemens). Instead of blasting players who were simply stuck in survival of the fittest mode, shouldn’t we be more focused on blasting Bud Selig and the MLB, who were all to happy to sit back and watch guys like Sosa and McGwire single-handedly resuscitate baseball after the ’94 strike, and draw millions of spectators to the ballpark? I certainly think so.

Finally, and this addresses the question I posed in the title of my post, where do we stack guys like Sosa, A-Rod, Manny, and Clemens, in the annals of baseball history? While I believe that these players aren’t solely to blame for their choices, the fact is that they piled up some highly dubious stats with the help of PEDs. Would Sammy have hit 600 home-runs and have consecutive 60 HR seasons without PEDs? Unlikely. But would he have 500 HR and maybe consecutive 50 HR seasons? Possibly. Let’s not forget that hitting a 96 mph fastball, or an 80 mph curveball out of the park is still one of the hardest feats in all of sports, steroids or no steroids. Hitting a baseball requires a tremendous amount of skill, and I don’t care how ovaries Manny was trying to grow, the guy was, and still is, an incredibly talented hitter. Therefore, when it comes to deciding whether or not these guys are hall of fame worthy or not, I’d like to endorse one option that has already been proposed by many sports writers: a steroids wing at Cooperstown. That way, we can recognize the natural greatness of guys like A-Rod, Manny, Clemens, and maybe even Sammy, but still honor the achievements and records of past baseball greats by acknowledging that these steroids era players put up career numbers that were aided by the use of PEDs.

As to which players from the steroids era merit entrance to this special wing, and receive this honor in spite of their use of PEDs, well, I’ll leave that up to the caprices of the sports writers and Hall of Fame voters. After all, the whole process of electing Hall of Famers is a farce anyways…just ask Ron Santo.

2006 NBA Draft

2009-06-22T22:45:00.003-05:00

Why is anyone still reading these? Why am I still writing them?

1	TOR	Andrea Bargnani	Brandon Roy
2	CHI	LaMarcus Aldridge	Rajon Rondo
3	CHA	Adam Morrison	Rudy Gay
4	POR	Tyrus Thomas	LaMarcus Aldridge
5	ATL	Shelden Williams	Paul Millsap
6	MIN	Brandon Roy	Andrea Bargnani
7	BOS	Randy Foye	Tyrus Thomas
8	HOU	Rudy Gay	Randy Foye
9	GSW	Patrick O'Bryant	Ronnie Brewer
10	SEA	Saer Sene	Kyle Lowry
11	ORL	J.J. Redick	Leon Powe
12	NOK	Hilton Armstrong	Booby Gibson
13	PHI	Thabo Sefolosha	Thabo Sefolosha
14	UTA	Ronnie Brewer	Sergio Rodriguez
15	NOK	Cedric Simmons	Shelden Williams
16	CHI	Rodney Carney	Hilton Armstrong
17	IND	Shawne Williams	Josh Boone
18	WAS	Oleksiy Pecherov	Rodney Carney
19	SAC	Quincy Douby	Jordan Farmar
20	NYK	Renaldo Balkman	Craig Smith
21	PHO	Rajon Rondo	J.J. Redick
22	NJN	Marcus Williams	Patrick O’Bryant
23	NJN	Josh Boone	Renaldo Balkman
24	MEM	Kyle Lowry	Shannon Brown
25	CLE	Shannon Brown	Steve Novak
26	LAL	Jordan Farmar	Adam Morrison
27	PHO	Sergio Rodriguez	Dee Brown
28	DAL	Maurice Ager	Cedric Simmons
29	NYK	Mardy Collins	Marcus Williams
30	POR	Joel Freeland	Maurice Ager

Best pick: Rajon Rondo (21)

Worst pick: Adam Morrison (3)

Best sleeper: Paul Millsap (47)

Going in, everyone knew this was a weak draft. The lack of star power forced Toronto to draft a 7 foot foreign guy who doesn’t rebound. Charlotte screwed up again taking Adam Morrison, plain and simple. He’s embarrassing. Atlanta made a promise to draft Shelden Williams at 5, maybe hoping Candace Parker would start her own WNBA franchise in Atlanta as a result. Atlanta would be in a huge mess if it hadn’t worked some shrewd trades. Their draft history is very bad.

Boston and Portland had the best drafts. Boston got Rondo from Phoenix who traded the pick for cash and Portland got Roy and Aldridge, two cornerstones of their franchise.

Bulls note: The #2 pick came as a result of the Bulls "trade" with the Knicks for Eddy Curry. This draft came a season after it seemed like the team was set with young talent in most every area. So John Paxson decided to take a risk on the player with the highest potential in Tyrus Thomas. People said the Bulls needed a post presence, but is there one in this draft? Aldridge is not a post player, he’s just tall. He would have been the better pick looking back on it, but it’s tough to discredit Paxson for his logic in taking Thomas. I wanted Brandon Roy the whole time, but what do I know? The Bulls second selection in this draft was Rodney Carney, who was traded for Thabo Sefolosha. Thabo at the time of the draft was the rising star, a guy many considered a top 5 pick if the draft was a month later. So Paxson traded up to get him, thinking Utah would take him one spot ahead of the Bulls. Thabo really never materalized as that player and the Bulls missed on Ronnie Brewer, who has had a nice career with the Jazz.

2005 NBA Draft

2009-06-22T22:43:00.000-05:00

1	MIL	Andrew Bogut	Chris Paul
2	ATL	Marvin Williams	Deron Williams
3	UTA	Deron Williams	Danny Granger
4	NOH	Chris Paul	Monta Ellis
5	CHA	Raymond Felton	David Lee
6	POR	Martell Webster	Andrew Bogut
7	TOR	Charlie Villanueva	Raymond Felton
8	NYK	Channing Frye	Andrew Bynum
9	GSW	Ike Diogu	Marvin Williams
10	LAL	Andrew Bynum	Charlie Villanueva
11	ORL	Fran Vasquez	Jarrett Jack
12	LAC	Yaroslav Korolev	Nate Robinson
13	CHA	Sean May	Martell Webster
14	MIN	Rashad McCants	Brandon Bass
15	NJN	Antoine Wright	Fransisco Garcia
16	TOR	Joey Graham	Hakim Warrick
17	IND	Danny Granger	Rashad McCants
18	BOS	Gerald Green	Jason Maxiell
19	MEM	Hakim Warrick	Channing Frye
20	DEN	Julius Hodge	Ike Diogu
21	PHO	Nate Robinson	Joey Graham
22	DEN	Jarrett Jack	Antoine Wright
23	SAC	Francisco Garcia	Gerald Green
24	HOU	Luther Head	Louis Williams
25	SEA	Johan Petro	Ryan Gomes
26	DET	Jason Maxiell	Von Wafer
27	POR	Linas Kleiza	Andray Blatche
28	SAS	Ian Mahinmi	Linas Kleiza
29	MIA	Wayne Simien	Luther Head
30	NYK	David Lee	Martin Gortat

Best pick: Chris Paul (4)

Worst pick: Fran Vasquez (11)

Best Sleeper: Monta Ellis (40)

This draft is highlighted by the mess at picks 1 and 2, while two star point guards were passed up. Overall, this was a weak draft outside of the top 10. This had a lot to do with a terrible high school class whose top two players were Josh McRoberts and Gerald Green. But the weak draft was mostly due to the 2005 Illinois Fighting Illini damaging the confidence of every other player in the country. There’s really no other way to explain it.

I don’t even know who Yaroslav Korolev is. That’s how bad the Clippers pick was. Orlando made a brutal decision by taking another center after Dwight Howard. Vasquez has never played in the NBA. Charlotte went with two players from North Carolina, and how did that work out?

Bulls note: This was Luol Deng.

2004 NBA Draft

2009-06-22T22:40:00.001-05:00

1	ORL	Dwight Howard	Dwight Howard
2	CHA	Emeka Okafor	Al Jefferson
3	CHI	Ben Gordon	Devin Harris
4	LAC	Shaun Livingston	Emeka Okafor
5	WAS	Devin Harris	Andre Iguodala
6	ATL	Josh Childress	Kevin Martin
7	PHO	Luol Deng	Ben Gordon
8	TOR	Rafael Araujo	Josh Smith
9	PHI	Andre Iguodala	Jameer Nelson
10	CLE	Luke Jackson	Andris Biendris
11	GSW	Andris Biedrins	Luol Deng
12	SEA	Robert Swift	Anderson Varejao
13	POR	Sebastian Telfair	Trevor Ariza
14	UTA	Kris Humphries	Josh Childress
15	BOS	Al Jefferson	J.R. Smith
16	UTA	Kirk Snyder	Delonte West
17	ATL	Josh Smith	Chris Duhon
18	NOH	J.R. Smith	Beno Udrih
19	MIA	Dorell Wright	Sebastian Telfair
20	DEN	Jameer Nelson	Shaun Livingston
21	UTA	Pavel Podkolzine	Sasha Vujacic
22	NJN	Viktor Khryapa	Dorrell Wright
23	POR	Sergei Monia	Tony Allen
24	BOS	Delonte West	Royal Ivey
25	BOS	Tony Allen	Rafael Araujo
26	SAC	Kevin Martin	Robert Swift
27	LAL	Sasha Vujacic	David Harrison
28	SAS	Beno Udrih	Krik Snyder
29	IND	David Harrison	Kris Humphries

Best pick: Al Jefferson (15)

Worst pick: Rafael Araujo (8)

Best Sleeper: Trevor Ariza (43)

This was a very good draft in the top half. It produced a number of solid contributors, a few possible perennial All-Stars (Harris, Jefferson, Iguodala) and a potential superstar (Howard). The second half of the draft is miserable though. After Sasha Vujacic in my revised draft, no one plays out of this group.

This draft was all about Dwight Howard vs. Emeka Okafor. Orlando clearly made the right choice, which propelled them to the Finals this year. With Okafor, Orlando doesn’t have the success it has had. The Clippers got screwed with their pick when Livingston basically had a career ending injury. What baffles me is Toronto’s pick of Araujo a year after taking Bosh. What were they thinking? Iguodala was still on the board and if you’re going to take a flyer on a big man, take it on a high school kid who averaged 40 points a game (Jefferson). Of course this is hindsight, but I don’t think Araujo is even in the league anymore. Terrible.

Meanwhile, Boston took Jefferson and parlayed that into Kevin Garnett and a title. Sacramento found a diamond in the rough with Martin, and Nelson was a good value where he was taken.

Bulls note: This was a critical draft for the Bulls, who somehow convinced money-stricken Phoenix to trade its first rounder (pick 7) for cash and the Bulls first rounder the next year (turned into Jackson Vroman. Who? Exactly.) The Bulls turned picks 3 and 7 into Ben Gordon and Luol Deng. Pretty good considering they addressed their two positions of need. Devin Harris was available at #3, but the Bulls didn’t need another point guard a year after Hinrich. At #7, the debate was between Childress, Deng and Luke Jackson. Iguodala really wasn’t even in the conversation and the 76ers made a nice pick with him. For reference, Childress is playing overseas and Jackson is out of the league. The Bulls again made the right choices in this draft and pulled off a nice trade to boot.

Random Musings

2009-06-22T13:19:00.002-05:00

Josh Hartnett has to be one of the worst actors of this or any generation. Pearl Harbor has been on a lot lately and I think the longest I stayed on it was 25 minutes. And that was only because I was waiting for him to get shot.

You really have to admire Hollywood for their devotion to Apple or laugh at how out of touch with the real world they really are. Even the poor and middle class have $2000+ Mac computers. Maybe I should move to Hollywood.

How has SNL not done a skit parodying Billy Mays or Vince the Sham Wow guy? That skit writes itself.

After rewatching the Arizona Illinois game for the 285th time I found something else I never noticed before, Arizona started in a 2-3 zone. That's on par with a pitcher throwing Alfonso Soriano a first pitch fastball.